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Fardmf Asked November 2013

Should I report an aid that I witnessed being rude to my mom? I am afraid of repercussions for my mom.

My mom had a fall a few weeks ago that landed her in the hospital and rehab for 3 weeks. She is in the final stages of Alzheimer's and has at a minimum, moderate dementia. She is very unsteady on her feet and is now in a wheel chair. I walked in yesterday and an aid was standing behind her with her hands on my mom's shoulders telling her she can't get up an "when is she going to get it through her head". When she saw me she said that my mom keeps trying to get up and says she has to go to the bathroom. One of the other aids came over and said that my mom had almost feel that morning. I took my mom to her room and into her bathroom. She did go to the bathroom. I then just stayed with her for several hours in her room listening to music. She took a nap until lunch, which is when I left. I am just afraid to complain because I am not there all the time, although I visit every day, and I don't want them to take it out on my mom. Am I just being too sensitive? I know it's not an easy job, I lasted about a month taking care of her after my dad died. The other question is how do you keep them from falling if they insist on walking?

Fardmf Nov 2013
Thank you for your quick response. I didn't think it warranted a complaint to the ombudsman, but it is such a small unit that I am afraid to say anything to the director for fear that it would get back to the staff. My mom was in rehab for 3 weeks and they also would "toilet her". I do think I will discuss that with the director because it did seem to help.

vstefans Nov 2013
I don't know that I'd report this one to the ombudsman, it does not sound really abusive. Maybe that aide just needs a little more education and you could talk to the director about it, just sandwiched in with some good comments about positive things you see going on too, "thanks so much for caring for my mom when I could not do it any longer", etc.. Maybe you could get them to set up a timed toileting plan and if she is wanting to go way too often to manage, check for UTI. Ideally they have someone get them up and walk with them at least daily; my mom's last rehab place once she plateaued out of formal PT had nursing staff do that. They can be between a rock and a hard place with preventing falls for patients who can't remember not to get up without help; both falls and restraints count against quality of care these days. The common ways to try to manage it are alarms on the chair, making it inconvenient and slow with a tray and/or Velcro belt that can be removed by a person so is technically not a restraint, and/or keeping them by the nurses' station.

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