How to make bed ridden mom cooperative during cleaning and diaper change?

Thanks guys, trying all these.I am aware that this is going to be like this, but just wanted to know if there is anything else.She turns rigid and makes things difficult.May be I need more patience .She is clearly embarrassed, but expresses in abusive words.Making things worse, she has lost her cognition through eye sight, and reacts violently to any touch.So I have started talking to her softly before starting to do anything.

Can she tell you why she hates it? Is she embarrassed? Doesn't understand? Cold? Would she prefer dim lights for privacy? Just guessing here.

Maybe an ejoyable distraction of their favorite music or song. Or play sounds from nature. Anything they can hear that relaxes them. Changing and cleaning is stressful enough for both.

ferris1 is correct. (It must be done) However I had a strict rule on my nursing floor.
The word DIAPER was never ever to be used! Only words like adult protective undergarments, Adults protective garments.
Demented or not, that word Diaper means to everyone for a baby!

Adults of any age do not wear diapers. It may make a big difference to merely change the wording.

I don't know of anyone who would want to have someone change their diaper regardless of their mental state. Having said that, as a nurse, I just changed them regardless of what was said. Try to be understanding, kind, and do not force the issue. Wait, then come back. You might have to do that several times, but each time the response might be changed. Good luck!