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R
rhondahart Asked February 2013

My father wants to stay in his home, has sufficient funds, but refuses to pay for extra help. He is not safe living alone. What can I do?

He has sufficient funds, and is adamant that he stay in his home. We feel that his wishes must be respected, and have tried to make it possible, but he needs more help. He does very little for himself. Reduction in personal hygiene, taking medications, and eating are major issues that we are faced with, not to mention personal safety. .We don't want to spend his money on something that he is so opposed to. My brother and his family take neither physical nor emotional responsibility for his care. How can we help my father understand that he needs to pay for extra help so that we can fulfill his wishes.

3pinkroses Feb 2013
This is difficult indeed, and truly sad as I realize your Dad wants to stay in his home and does not want strangers in to help. My Dad was the same way.

Does he have some dementia going on? You have reached the point where he does need some help. The only thing that ever got through to my MIL and parents when they did not want outside help, was telling them the worst case scenarios that could possibly happen without help. For some reason, this seemed to help them understand that they do need help. A lifeline alert was one of the first things we did. Helps them feel independent, but also gives security that there could be someone there for an emergency.

Also, call the local elder services in the town they live in - they have great ideas that some of us don't even think of. Sorry you have to do this - my thoughts are with you and hope things work out. Take care and blessings to you.

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