All the good-hearted advice here is not enough. We want to quit Grandma. Has anyone else been through this?

Yes - if she has dementia (and it can sometimes be a little hard to differentiate dementia behaviors from narcissism in my mom), then she should probably be in a memory care place where she will be more controlled. If she doesn't have dementia (she's just an Ahole - sorry), then at least get in contact with a good therapist who can guide you in hanling the issues. The fact that she has a neurologist suggest to me she might have dementia. If money is an issue, try some of your local government aging resources. You might want to look at the book "Elder Rage" as the author has had some interesting and possibly useful experience conditioning her father's responses so that this behaviors are more manageable.

If in all agreement do it. When her assets are used up she will qualify for medicaid. She needs a more restrictive environment than assisted living.