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sadandpuzzled93 Asked February 2013

With sundowner, which is better, being stern or extra loving?

Right around 4pm every day, my mother starts talking incoherently and wants to go to "the first floor" (ours is a one story house). She wants to go out and repeats non-stop "take me out of here!!!!" in a crescendo. What I notice works better is ignoring her, but it breaks my heart. Her being almost blind and a foot problem that prevents her from walking without assistance has actually been a blessing in disguise. She only weighs 87lbs, so the 1/2 tab of Haloperidol cannot be increased. Can someone please let me know how best to handle this situation? Love or firm character?

sadandpuzzled93 Feb 2013
This article has been extremely enlightening! Thank you so very much! Some of the suggestions I have already followed, the rest are awesome and I'll definitely will try them. Something that she likes is me holding and stroking her hand. I notice she stays still when I do that. She only sees light (almost blind), so I guess she feels reassured when I sit close to her. Thanks again for addressing my question!

AgingCareCM Feb 2013
Hello sadandpuzzled93,
One of our experts wrote the following article that I thought you may find helpful.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/sundowners-syndrome-133187.htm

I wish you the best,
The AgingCare.com Team

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wuvsicecream Feb 2013
sadandpuzzled93 It's the time of the year also. Daylight has a lot to do with our feelings not just elders. Music is a great idea too or if you watch an old movie at the nursing home they love things like Fred Astaire, Hello Dolly, musicals. Oh my Mom loves game shows and anything with good looking men. One day the young activities professional brought his computer in and hooked it up to the big tv and we were watching John F Kennedy Give a speech I asked Mom who he was she gave me a puzzled look and said of course I do, you don't ?? That's the president!!! Very matter of factually!!!! She can't remember I am her daughter but this was clearly no problem to remember... Our handsome president!!!
I think what happens is it get's frustrating to be in a world that they are losing control of, and at the end of the day, it's really bad they are tired and board and need stimulation.

sadandpuzzled93 Feb 2013
Thank you, NancyH. I just want to do the best for her. The lady cannot stand up by herself, or stay erect either. We just purchased a transport wheelchair for her. She's a little thing with a brain that goes haywire at 4pm! The restlessness of the sundowner is what I don't know how to handle. What you said is right: it's hard to know how to control her. I guess I'll take it one day at a time, huh?

NancyH Feb 2013
With sundowners it's really hard to know what, if anything you CAN do. Is she able to walk at all? I know you said she's practically blind, but if you took her for a walk around the house do you think that would alleviate some of the frustration? What about putting on some music that she would like instead, therefore distracting her? It's awful I know, and you feel helpless I know that too. ♥

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