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ldnorthjersey Asked September 2012

Did I do the right thing by calling in APS?

Last week I contacted my county Adult Protective Services and requested an investigation of my parents' situation. Mom has Alz and Dad has some type of memory loss/brain damage from repeated fall. Won't allow any aides in home. Dad also has untreated HBP. Mom takes various meds for her heart condition but takes them inconsistently. Both parents. have issues with timeand are no eating properly. I am their only child and at the end of my rope. I am not POA. Investigation will begin today or tomorrow so I'm sure it will be an interesting week.

igloo572 Sep 2012
Jersey - give some time and thought to finding an elder care attorney who does guardianships. You may find yourself having to go to court to be named guardian or conservator for your folks since you do not have a DPOA. MPOA etc in place. APS may have it in your state that they (or the court) have a list of temporary guardians that get appointed and then you go to court to be named permanent guardian. Ask APS how this gets run in your state.

vstefans Sep 2012
I f we had known then what we know now...we would have called APS for my husband's mom and dad whose home was horribly dirty and unsafe before it all fell apart...they made bad decisions and refused help and even called the police to keep a home health person out that my brother-in-law tried to get for them. You have absolutely done what your parents need to be done, even if they don't want it, and I'm hoping and praying it will work out for the good for all of you. The alternative is just waiting for disaster to strike, which it inevitably will.

It's hard going this alone...though from being on here I understand it can be hard going through it all with uncooperative siblings too, maybe you and I have a blessing in disguise being onlies after all!

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3pinkroses Sep 2012
Hugs to you - I think you absolutely did the right thing calling APS - they can help you and your parents sort out what has to be done. You have taken a step that will help keep them safe and I realize this must have been a difficult decision. It's difficult being the only one to watch out for aging parents.

Years ago I had difficulty with taking care of my parents needs as well as they would not let me help them in the manner that was required. I won't get into that, but I consulted with a representative from APS and she saved my sanity and guided me with the steps to help my parents.

She was my right arm and she was there for me every step of the way. I pray things go well this week and please know I am thinking and praying for you. Blessings and take care.

Azaranka Sep 2012
Hi, I had a situation like yours. I called around and found out there are adult day care services. Some of them provide transportation. Now I am able to care for my mom at home. She attends the daycare monday through friday. This allows me to work and have some kind of life. The one she attends even gives her showers three days a week!

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