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reginam Asked August 2012

Should I move my mother closer for care?

Until earlier this year my mother was living independently in another state. Her health issues landed her in the hospital for an extended stay earlier this year. She has recovered to a level where assisted living can be considered with some extra support with dressing and bathing. I want to try to move her closer for care but because we are not private pay have limited options. As the one advocating for her care, it is very difficult to figure out what to do next or whether she will be cleared for care by any local facilities where I am. I want her to have the best chance for success but be safe as well. The travel back and forth has been difficult and is not sustainable and I just feel I need to physically to keep an eye on her. If anyone has faced a similar situation please share any thoughts that might help me on this journey. Thanks.

reginam Aug 2012
Hi Sunflo, thank you for your response. I think you are very wise to get the process started ahead of time and wish you the very best in your efforts to get ahead of the need as much as possible.

sunflo2 Aug 2012
I think I will be in same situation some day. If my mom needs AL; I will definitely move her near me. In her situation - she has no friends, relatives, etc. locally. I think she will still want to be in her home town - but it just won't make sense so I've already decided she will be moved near me. I started looking into places near where I live so I know my options and projected costs. Also check if she is widow of a VET -- they have monetary assistance too (there is a link on this website or through VA govt websites for benefits and understanding qualification). The challenge is usually availability/opening in a facility and care costs. You should contact a financial advisor in senior counciling to help you navigate the costs. Sometimes you can do that thru the care center you are looking at.

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reginam Aug 2012
Thank you jeannegibbs. I read the article and agree. It is a very difficult decision and yes my mother is on Medicaid and Medicare. She is currently in a care center. I have a lot of work to do and am emotionally drained too. It's challenging because each state is in a different place on the spectrum of options when it comes to levels of care and options. I'll keep working at it and praying as I go. Thanks again.

jeannegibbs Aug 2012
You might find a recent article on this site called "Is It Right to Convince Mom and Dad to Move Close to the Kids?" useful.

Your mother is on Medicaid? Is she home now, or in a care center? You might check out care centers near you that accept Medicaid, to get an idea of what would be available.

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