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debman1027 Asked June 2012

Should I tell my mother that she has Alzheimer's?

Mom is in an alzheimer's assisted living facility for the past 5 months. She is asking to go home (of course) and wants to know why she is there (these thoughts come and go). We talk about the other residents who live there and I tell her that they have alzheimer's. Should I tell her that she is there because she also has alzheimer's? I know I would have to repeat the answer over and over which is ok but I am concerned about her reaction(s). Any thoughts?

3pinkroses Jun 2012
This question recently came up on this forum. It is a very sensitive subject to deal with. But if your mother is already in assisted living alzheimer's unit, it might be wise to tell her what is happening. There are different levels of this disease. Maybe if you eased into the conversation saying she has memory problems herself and you are quite concerned about it. And then as the conversation develops, you could elaborate on her memory problems and discuss why she is unable to go home.

Of course, she will forget and you will be answering this over and over. My MIL was in denial of her alzheimers; so I would discuss with her the memory problems she was having and this seemed to make sense to her. They know on some level the memory problems they are experiencing. So, at this point as she wants to go home and asks why she is there; it might be a good time to be honest. You know her best, but think it is time she knows the reason she is there. Take care.

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