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duck0350 Asked May 2012

Please tell me why my mother-in-law is hanging on so long?

My mother-in-law lives with me and my husband. She is 86 years old. Over the last few months she seemed to deteriorate. She has many illness, but her congestive heart failure is really bad. When she got out of the hospital the last time we ask for hospice. She was eating less and less. Some days not eating or drinking at all. When hospice came in we didnt try to feed her or give her water. We would swab her mouth with cold water. She suffered a massive stroke, but still is living. It has been four days now. She cant talk or get out of bed anymore. She was totally unresponsive. Then all of a sudden she seemed to make a comeback sort of. She opens one eye, moves her left arm and and very lightly squeezes our hand with hers. Why is this process taking so long. She is now crying when we go into the room and seems to be wanting to talk but cant. This is very disturbing to my husband and his sister to the point that they are second guessing their decision to no feed her. I went in this am and she turned her head towards me and was moving her mouth and crying. I was stead fast on the fact that this was the right thing to do, but now I am faulting also. Why was she so bad and now seems to be getting better? Thank you for your help. Donna in Florida

tbailey May 2012
I agree call nurse..
Ive been there too with own mother. You know we never know but, I do know keep anxiety down by kids all or take turns to sit with her and let her know everything is okay here you are all fine & you want her to be & its okay to let go. Ive worked in nuring homes and thought so n so wont be here tom. & they were. Then others go quickly. But I think with good moms they are dying leaving there kids its hard not to fight for one more second not knowing what is happening. Prayers to your whole family...god bless you....
Just make sure u keep her mouth wet and NO PAIN!!!!
Thoughts n prayers with copdsucks too.

copdsucks May 2012
So sorry. My mom too is in Hospice care at home. We are waiting also.
I would definitely be calling the Hospice nurse. My concern would be she was in pain. Blessings to you all.

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copdsucks May 2012
So sorry. My mom too is in Hospice care at home. We are waiting also.
I would definitely be calling the Hospice nurse. My concern would be she was in pain. Blessings to you all.

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