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auddie58 Asked March 2012

Is there anyway that you can make siblings take care of a alcoholic parent?

I am the daughter in law and have been caring for my againg acholic mother in law. She is abusive, mean and cruel I do everything from groc shopping to cleaning her home I have 2 jobs can I make her own chlidren help in any way.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Mar 2012
Isn't your husband involved? He needs to talk to his siblings. This shouldn't all be falling on you.
Alcoholic or not, the woman may need care, but others should pitch in. If the situation is too bad and no one will help, report her situation to social services for a welfare check. They may be able to get her some help.
Carol

jeannegibbs Mar 2012
I doubt that you can your in-laws do anything. It doesn't sound like you can convince your husband to do anything.

What you do have control over is what you do. You do not have an obligation to take care of your husband's mother in addition to working two job. You can decide what, if anything, you are willing to do. "I will grocery shop once a week." or "I will set up a weekly cleaning service, which MIL can pay out of her ss check." or ... whatever you think you can and want to handle.

If you have been doing everything yourself for a while, it is not fair (in my opinion) to suddenly drop everything and leave MIL high and dry (well, I guess she wouldn't be dry ...) So I like Carol's suggestion to call in social services. Here is a woman who needs some services and she is not going to be getting them from you any longer. What do they suggest?

Good luck to you. Feel proud that you have cared and taken action, even when her family did not. Please take more and different actions, to remove the sole responsibility from your shoulders.

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auddie58 Mar 2012
husband not involved family turns a blind eye and she does not want anyone in her home this has been going on for over two years, I just dont understand it, it makes no sence to me at all.

auddie58 Mar 2012
I do appreciate your answer as well as you understanding thses have things that I have brought up but to no avail. Its a tough one for sure I guess maybe after two years I should accept this as my path. but am seeking out what other options there are. Thank you again

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