My mother-in-law is having these pity parties and my husband and I refuse to attend. Are we wrong and what can we do about it except just ignore her?

Yes, we need more info in order to help you. Does she have dementia?

True, the only way to look at answers to examples like yours r to see certain examples of her situations in life,Is she having "pity"parties 2 see if she can find solutions 2 her diagnosies,let everyone know she's in horrible shape etc.

Filling out your profile would help put your questions in context. What is your MIL's impairment? Does she live with you? Has she always tended to throw pity parties or is this relatively new? Knowing a little more would help us respond more specifically.