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maryann57 Asked February 2012

Can a nursing home tell you that you are going to see your parent too much?

I had to put my mother in Extended Assisted Living after my Dad died four months ago. I took her to live with me and she broke her pelivic bone. It has been very traumatic for me and her. Its been a rough time, losing my Dad and selling her house. I go see my mom for an hour in the morning and go back in the afternoon and spend time with her and take her to entertainment if they have it. I get comments like, "Are you back again", "Do you come every day". I would think they would encourage family to come. I don't want my Mom to think I have just dropped her off there, I really want to take care of her but can't. Am I visiting her too much??

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Feb 2012
I don't think you are visiting too much. I visited all of my elders who lived in a nursing home nearly every day. You don't want to make the staff feel they are being "watched" or that you don't trust them, but it doesn't sound like you are doing that. Many people visit often. I'm wondering if the staff members are just making conversation and they don't mean to sound critical. I heard, "You must live here," sometimes, but always with a smile. You've got a right to be with your mom.
Take care,
Carol

maryann57 Feb 2012
Thank you for responding, Carol. It has been such a tough time for me. I wish there were more support for me at the Assisted Living. Everyone is so busy there. I think they are trying to look out for my well-being that I don't "burn out", as one nurse told me, but right now I need to be with my mom as much as I can. She wants to come home and it is so hard leaving her there.

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