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katz999 Asked February 2012

Can I question a caregivers advice?

My daytime caregiver for my 91 year old mother comes at 11:00AM and the nighttime caregiver leaves at daylight because my mother sleeps heavily and only will get awake when the caregiver wakes her at 11:00AM. I'm thinking the daytime caregiver just wants more hours when she tells me she sould start at 7 when the nighttime caregiver leaves because if my mother falls and hurts herself, the state will legally come after me for elderly neglect. Is this true?

Eddie Feb 2012
K:

Ask her cardiologist to take a closer look at her medications. They might be the root of her brachycardia, oversleeping, the drowsiness that causes her to fall, and maybe some of her vision problems.

Once she's up and about, you'll be able to objectively deal with the caregiver's issues w/o worrying about the State coming after you. It's easy to caregive when your patient sleeps like a vegetable all day. Talk on the phone, watch TV, wake them up for meds to sleep their life away some more, and pretend to tidy up a little when the head of household comes through the front door.

Put an ad on the paper: "Wanted: Caregiver for 91 y/o Who Sleeps All Day." The phone won't stop ringing, and the present caregiver will be more grateful for having a job. Even if she's not happy with the hours.

Jam Feb 2012
Sally.....read the Power of Attorney.....if it says that you have the right to make medical decisions then you can make them. Simple as that. You would have the power and ability to fire the care giver that you aren't pleased with. And you can also tell the physician that you are not comfortable with the care giver and will no longer allow this person to care for your mother. It doesn't sound like you live close to Mom, so you might have to visit to make sure she is getting the proper care. Mom doesn't have to be left out of any care giver decisions, there are ways to involve her but with you having the ultimate control. If you are concerned enough to want to put in a camera, then she probably shouldn't be caring for Mom.

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Sally Feb 2012
My 88 yr. old Mother has a medicare paid nurse that I am concerned about, or that I would feel more comfortable, having a nannycam on her. My Mother does not have a primary Dr. She has a pulmonary cardio specialist, who has been with her for aproximately 20 to 25 yrs. This nurse is with a Home Health Care Co., but she privately owns her own Nursing Home or Home for a few disabled elderly people. My Mother has signed paperwork, with this nurse, and I think my Mom does not know what she is signing. When, I ask my Mom anything, about her healthcare or any of her healthcare provider's directions, she gets upset, and says I will make my own decisions & to basically stay out of her medical business. I do have Medical Power of Attorney, that Mom signed, before she was released from a Rehab., 4 yrs. ago....from a fall, broken hip surgery. What can I do to protect Mom? This cardio Dr., keeps signing permission slips, for this s Home Health Care co. Mom worries, complains to me, about what they do, or what they don't do for her. What can I do to make sure she gets taken care of ?

katz999 Feb 2012
Thank you all for your response. Each and every response was a very informative one for me. As it turns out the nightime caregiver informed me Mother's heart beat was irregular and she was afraid to fall asleep for fear she would die. She made the caregiver promise not to tell me and worry me but thank God she did. I had her trandsported to the ER and shehas been in the hospitasl several days now with her heart beat being only 30-40. People tell caregivers things they normally would not want their family to know for fear of worrying them so this alone is a very good reason to seek help with a caregiver for your elderly loved one.

sebring Feb 2012
if you belive in your gut theres something funky about the person caring for your mom, you need to get rid of her. if your not sure, ask. ask neighbors to pop in to check and make sure everythings ok.
if nothing else, get a nannycam... that way you can see exactly whats going on

sandfox Feb 2012
Can you question a caregivers advice. Absolutely. They are not liitle gods that know it all. Listen to your gut in this situation; if something does not feel right to you, find out what it is. You may be sensing that the caregiver wants more hours, etc, but something is going on there. Trust your instincts. They are the most "intelligent" asset you have. Note: The caregiver has undoubtably sensed that you are afraid to question her/him. Please don't be like most typical Americans who think that so-called "experts" automatically know more than you do.

Jaye Feb 2012
If your Mother is alone and you are concerned then increase the caregiver's hours but I would strongly suggest that you do what is in your Mother's best interest and not out of concern for the state coming after you!!! If she is able to walk to the bathroom without help, and you are comfortable with her being alone I would say not to worry. It is possible sadly that the caregiver wants more time because it is "easy" duty. take care, just my thoughts...

Jam Feb 2012
If something like that were possible, then #1 the authorities have snooped too much and #2 there would be thousands of care givers in trouble due to accidental falls. Most care givers don't stand over their charges 24/7, so there is always the possibility that the unforeseen is going to happen. Don't worry about it. It sounds to me like the care giver doesn't want your mother to be alone for any length of time which is a good thing. Perhaps, if it's not cost prohibitive, you might consider having her there longer and utilize that time by having other "chores" that she can do.

N1K2R3 Feb 2012
Is there anyone on the premises between 7:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m.?
Only you can answer this Q. Will your mother be all right between those few hours whether or not she is sleeping?
The state will not "come after you" for neglect.
My suggestion: Give you mother a call button.

cricketinafp Feb 2012
I don't know if that's true or not but to be sure call your Mother's primary Doctor and ask him about it. If your Mother is sleeping all the time and doesn't get up on her own then I would just tell the caregiver that. By calling the doctor and explaining your Mothers condition (if he doesn't know the specifics) at least you won't let what the Caregiver said scare you into doing something that is not necessary. I'm not saying her motive is questionable, she is probably looking at it from what she has been told. What's important here is that you do what is best for your Mother, if there is a chance that she will get up and hurt herself then you might want to listen to her. Peace be with you.

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