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caregiverdiary Asked July 2011

My mom is incontinent and has chronic diarrhea. How can I keep her sanitary?

move on their own. I am trying to keep things orderly and use safe protocols, but it is hard to keep up with it. I was using 3 and 4 sheets a day, (yes even with chux pads). I finally hired a laundry service that brings me sheets and towels once a week. But I can't give them sheets covered with s__t. So every morning I take her sheets out and hose them off and let them dry in the sun. Several times a week it is so bad that I have to hose off her clothes and soak them before washing them. I spend so much time doing laundry and bathing her. With her diarrhea she needs a daily bath.

I have an outdoor hose with warm water that I can use on my mother if it is warm outside. Sometimes it feels like my life is about feces and urine. I am so tired of the smell. Yesterday someone watched her and I went for a drive, opened up the windows and smelled California summer. It was wonderful, the smell of sage and pines in the breeze.

My mom had uterine cancer 40 years ago and radiation therapy severely harmed her bowel's ability to absorb. I give her 2 immodium in the morning and at night. Sometimes the only thing that helps is a vicodin. (Her doctor okayed that.)

I give her fiber and billions of probiotics.

I have a sore on my finger that hasn't gone away and I am worried could be an infection from exposure to something in her poop. I will see the doctor on Friday. She has had cdif in the past and mersa.

Thats it.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Jul 2011
I think you need to talk to the doctor about professional help - maybe even a nursing home, if he or she can't come up with a solution. First of all, your mom can't be getting the nutrients she needs with all of that going on.
Secondly, you may be right about an infection on your finger, so you should have that checked out.
Thirdly, you have no life - please get some help, whether it's in-home help or a nursing home. I doubt that assisted living could take her.
I know you are trying to do the best thing for her, but you can't live your life this way. Your health could go, and then your mom won't have anyone.
If the doctor has no medical help for this, then please consider asking him if a nursing home is right for her.
This is a medical problem, not just an inconvenience. You would then be able to be a daughter to her, no just keep cleaning her up.
Take care of yourself before you can't help her - please!
Carol

AnnieGirl Jul 2011
This might seem a stupid comment but why on earth are you giving your Mom fibre? Surely you want to bind her rather than give her fibre. Suggest you stop the fibre and give her Bananas, rice(boiled) with a little bit of boiled chicken chopped into it for protein and there used to be a product available in Pharmacy called 'Kaopectate' (I think that's how it was spelled) - not sure if it is still available but if not, your Doctor must be able to recommend something as you cannot go on the way you have been. Good luck.

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jeannegibbs Jul 2011
First, hugs to you, and a gold medal, too. You are to me commended for your dedication.

Carol is right. This is a medical problem, for both of you, and not just a distasteful task. You've done this for many years. Now may be time to step back into the role of loving daughter, with someone else in the role of caregiver or at least cleaner-upper-and-laundry-provider. Your mother deserves that kind of relationship with you, and you with her.

You have been very resourceful in addressing the laundry problems. Now put that creative problem-solving ability to work on moving yourself back into the loving daughter role.

Good luck. And please keep us informed.

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