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G
gkerg Asked May 2011

How do I get my 94-year-oldmother suffering from dementia up in the mornings?

She is very confused when she wakes up due to her dreams during the night (she is on 25 mg of zoloft which could be making these dreams worse) and talks and talks about these dreams - good and bad - every morning. It sometimes takes me a half hour to get her up and into the bathroom. She also has arthritic knees so she needs help walking so as a result she cannot get up herself. She also is incontinent during the night so she needs changing when she wakes up. It can be very frustrating at times. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

jeannegibbs Jun 2011
Irwinsu, I allow 2 hours in the morning, too. My husband (LBD, 85) is slooooow, especially in the morning. The 2 hours includes dressing shaving, and eating (and reading the sports score in the paper, of course.) If we ever have to get started somewhere really early where 2 hours is not feasible, then I practically dress him as you would a child, and have a boxed breakfast for in the car. Of that 2 hours, I spend maybe 30 to 40 minutes of my time. I can understand why people have their hired caregivers come help with the morning routine. So far hubby can do most things himself -- he is just slooooow. If he were unable to dress himself, etc. I would definitely want help.

irwinsu Jun 2011
My Mom has takes a while to get going in the mornings too. I usually get up about 2 hours before I need to be out the door to work so I can allow at least 30 mintues to get Mom up and to the bathroom. She has also been having mobility issues, though she can walk and move around, I have found using a commode in her bedroom is much easier than getting her to the bathroom. And because I can move the commode around her, I don't have to worry about her getting in just the right position. Maybe if you don't have so far to take her, she can get right on the commode which might give her a little more time to wake up. Good luck, you are a great person for taking care of your Mom!

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NancyH Jun 2011
I know certain meds do cause vivid dreams. We found that out with my mom who recently died of cancer. They had her on stuff that made her want to get up all the time at night. My dad had to literally hold onto her nightgown during the night in order know when she would try to get up. We stopped those meds and things were better. I'm wondering if a clock radio set on a station with maybe the music she used to enjoy when she was young would ease her into getting up.

ChristinaW May 2011
I have not had this issue, but maybe you could change her in bed, while calmly talking about how funny dreams are, then let her stay in bed until she has processed the night--as best she can. When she is more awake and not distracted by her dreams, maybe she can focus better on making her way into the bathroom. Poor little thing. It must have something to do with the meds she is on, as they effect certain portions of the brain. Please talk to your doctor about that--maybe it can be changed. Perhaps you could play soothing music, or background white noise to calm her when she goes to bed at night. When my Mother was with me, I would start the morning playing her favorite Celtic sounds. It was relaxing and a smooth transition into waking life. Hope you are able to sleep, too:) Hugs, c

jeannegibbs May 2011
You may just have to plan on taking a half an hour to get her up. I know that some people who have part time caregiving help have the helper come early in the morning to do the getting up tasks. Blessings on you for taking care of your mom!

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