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jdfenton Asked March 2011

My sister lives in Oregon and has put my mother in some sort of nursing facility in that state She will not tell me where. How can I locate her?

jdfenton Mar 2011
Thank you both for your answers, I never thought of the PI angle, Evpraxia, appreciate your offer of lawyers that specialize in elder law as well, would appreciate if you could send me that. At this point I just want to explore what and if any are my options, just want to know if my mom is ok, not knowing her whereabouts is extremly frustrating, and putting additional strain on my wife, which she doesn't need right now, after losing her own mother and brother last year.

Evpraxia Mar 2011
I don't know if the nursing homes will confirm if a person is a resident there. You could try hiring a PI to investigate - they have databases they can access. Don't know if Social Security, health insurance or Medicare will tell you where the checks are going, but it might be worth a try. Any neighbors, church members, friends, relatives, club/group members that might know where she is? Is Mail forwarding to your sister or your mother? If your mother have a phone the phone company or a web search might help. I happen to have been visiting a resident in a nursing home within the last two years and was surprised to see a voter registration booth in full operation: checking with the State of Oregon to see if she is registered with a new address might be an option. Also, an Oregon Driver License or Oregon ID card trace might be possible.

Could try the State of Oregon
http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/spwpd/ltc/ltc_guide/whataremychoices.shtml
Oregon Department of Human Services
Seniors and People with Disabilities
500 Summer St. NE E12
Salem, OR 97301-1073

8:00 AM - 5:00 PM
spd.web@state.or.us

Phone: 503-945-5921
Phone: 800-282-8096
TTY: 800-282-8096

I live in the Portland area. There are some lawyers that specialize in elder law, I can get that info to you if you are interested.

I used to work in Human Resources and did background checks. Sure wish I had access to all those databases now!

Best to you,

Evpraxia

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NancyH Mar 2011
Sounds like your sister is ticked off that she's the only caregiver, and you're gonna suffer for it. Maybe it's time to take a visit out here to Oregon and talk to her. Even when she's in my neck of the woods, I'd have no idea of where to look except to start calling nursing homes and ask if she's a patient. Bummer.

jdfenton Mar 2011
First of all, thank you for answering my question. I live in Atlanta,Ga, as you saw in my posting my mother and sister live in Portland, Or, my options for assistance to my mother's care is limited mainly because of the distance involved, and my wife is a 100% disabled Vet, my sister feels I should quit my job, leave my wife to fend for herself, or to the care of one of our kids, and come there to assist with the care of our mother, recently my mother's condition came to a point where my sister placed her in a nursing home, I have since found out she has also obtained full power of attorney to manage my mother's affairs, and will not return my calls to inquire as to my mother's well being and whereabouts.

toadballet1 Mar 2011
Unless she feels the need to keep this information private to protect your mother, you have every right to know where your she is. Has she told you why she hasn't shared this with you? Have you been in contact with her during her care of your mother? There is information missing from your post...so it is hard to make a suggestion....please fill us in.

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