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tugarjd Asked September 2010

My 83-year-old mother is becoming obessed with a few things. She does has some dementia and a bad memory. Is this part of dementia?

About 6:30 in the evening, mother starts wanting to lock up the house, pull the garage door down, close the drapes. About 8:00pm, while we are watching TV, she starts in on the time...what time is it? And, are we ready to eat our ice cream. This goes on until 9:00pm. Then, we'll eat our ice cream and she'll go to bed...after she asks us are we ready for bed yet or are we staying up to watch this movie. I tell her our bedtime is 10:00. She goes on to bed. During all this time, she is worrying about the lighting in the room. She ends up having all the lights turned on. Her eye sight is poor, so she has to have on a lot of lights.

And, tonight, our daughter got to see some of her obsession in action. My husband and I ran to Walmart and my daughter stayed with mother. She said mother kept asking her to call us. Our daughter would tell her not yet. Then, she'd ask where I was and when was I coming home. She said this went on every few minutes. I actually called home twice in the two hours I was gone because I knew mother would be about to run our daughter nuts with questions.

She is getting worse about her obsessions. Is this dementia or sundowning? Is there anything I can do about it? Thank you.

Cronda Dec 2017
We have a similar problem, the only thing is that she obsesses with her medication. She insists that my brother is not giving her the morning insulin and he gives it to her faithfully every morning at the same time. We are going crazy because she starts to cry and will get really angry and call other family members to tell them we are not taking care of her. Can someone please help me understand how to handle this?

JuneMA Jan 2016
My hubby has acquired an obsession with going in the water, going swimming at a YMCA! Now he is not a swimmer at all, and never cared to do this. How this ideas came up is maddening. He asks several times a day to go. It is hard, for he is very unsteady on his feet, uses a cane and also would not remember where his locker for clothes was. So I have to do it all.....and is hard, even tho the local Y is very good and helpful. It is beginning to wear me down.....as afraid of anyone falling on slippery floors. A disaster if I fall and surely one if he should fall. Really hard in knowing what I should do. Anyone got any answers?

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Russell56 Jan 2015
Yes urinary tract infections are common with my mother,it really makes them a lot worse..can usually see a difference in about 4 days of antibiotics but I make sure she finishes her whole prescription..just expect this every few months tho,get them regular checkups if your the care taker..also read a book called "creating moments of joy" it has helped tremendously!

onlyme51 Dec 2014
My mother is 89 and has dementia. She now constantly asking for her house and where are they then places on table by her side.... is this part of dementia?

smithwandwesson Jan 2012
My 80 year old husband, who has not had en erection for years and years has become obsessed with sex! He says he wants to be a whole man and has had viagra, celias, and now the Dr. has given him a batter powered pump! EEEEKKK
Urologist knows about this and so does Family Dr. He has vasular dementia

LME Sep 2010
For my mom, I went into a teacher store, and got one of those "I will be back" clocks with the moveable hands, so I could show when I would be back. You can probably find them in Walmart or Meijer's also, I'm not sure. That way she would always know when to expect me. And if I was going to be late, I would ALWAYS call her. Otherwise, she would call me five times and leave a message.

Mimara Sep 2010
Yes, obsession can be a part of dementia. In mom's case, she has great difficulty trusting anything that she is not 100% certain about. The dementia affects cognition, the ability to reason, as well as causes hallucinations in mom's case. The side effects of the disease are very complex and frustrating. You might want to have your mom checked for Lewey Body Disease (LBD), a form of dementia that is becoming more widespread. Although this may sound trite or unrealistic, try try to focus on the good part of life with your mom, as dementia becomes more cruel and destructive as it ages.
Best hopes for you and your family.

barthas Sep 2010
I have found the best thing to do is put everything in writing. Make up a schedule and have a clock she can easily see.
When you are going out, write a note of what time you left, what time you will be home and your phone number.
Part of the anxiety is losing control, so whenever you write a note, ask her if there is anything else that needs to be written. You may get some interesting answers.

msdiva Sep 2010
thats is a urinary tract infection and alot of elderly people get it and it can get worst if its left untreated it was cause her to be confused very much. so have her check out asap

anne123 Sep 2010
I think it means urinary tract infection.

tugarjd Sep 2010
Thank you everyone for your replies and helpful comments. I will tell mother's doctor what she is doing because it has gotten worse in the past few weeks. My daughter is living with us for a few weeks and she can really see mother's "going down hill" over the past months.

What is UTI? I haven't come across this. I've seen OCD, but as far as I can tell from the description, she probably doesn't have this.

Thanks again.

deefer12 Sep 2010
Definitely make sure she doesn't have a UTI. This can cause drastic personality changes. Been taking care of Mom for 4 years now, and OCD is a big part of Parkinsons and dementia. She never stops!!! Hands are always in motion, either rubbing or grabbing, or picking at something. It is very hard to have to watch and will drive you crazy! If she gets stuck on a subject, agree with whatever she is saying, then redirect her attention to something else. This will usually work for a while.
Be prepared, because this will get worse. The doctor can prescribe meds to help, but they can take only so much without being able to function. I'm sorry you are having to go through this, but it is a very real part of the disease. Keep coming here to talk about it. Most of us are going through it too. Good luck!

msdiva Sep 2010
im with sonyam check with your dr

hapfra Sep 2010
hi DJ--To me, based upon my experiences, this sounds like either a dementia or a bad case of UTI as she sounds very confused and off the wall. If possible have this matter checked out by a physician as soon as possible as there may be help just around the bend.
Best to you and your family,
Hap

sonyam Sep 2010
My Dad has dementia too and he seems obsessed with certain things now too. I would definitely ask her doctor.

dmvgirl Sep 2010
My mother also is constantly checking doors and windows. Her bedroom is on the second floor of the house but will not allow her window to be open ( she says the Boogyman will get her) She has a constant need of reassurance that I will always take care of her, understand her fear since her other 9 children seemed to have forgotten their mother even exists. Like you I keep her on a tight schedule, it helps her to stay calm but whenever I have to go out and need one of my siblings to care for her she spends the whole time asking for me. I believe that as their caretakers they imprint on us and only trust us. Good luck.

ginamahoney Sep 2010
my mother in law does the same thing. She starts about 6 pm and will keep pestering dad to go to bed. She is worried about the windows the doors and keeps telling me that she sees a man with a cap outside. There is never anyone there but she keeps tellilng me that he is out there.

JulieWI Sep 2010
My mom has Alzheimer's and does this all the time. Yesterday I went out for a few hours (told her where I was going first) and she still asked my brother over and over where I was and kept checking the garage for my car.

anne123 Sep 2010
To me it sounds like anxiety, with some compulsion thrown in, but a professional would know for sure. Your mother could probably be helped by seeing her doctor, who might prescribe some medication to lessen her anxiety. It sounds like this anxiety is getting to be pretty constant.

And, yes, I have found with my father that all kinds of cognitive changes are occurring, including "psychiatric" behavioral changes. In other words, it's not just memory problems we're seeing with him. We are also seeing a dramatic change in his personality. I have found good help from his doctors, and I hope you do too. Good luck.

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