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zenia333 Asked September 2010

My 88-year-old mother thinks we, her children, are stealing her things. She is losing things constantly and thinking other people take them. How should we take care of this?

She thinks her memory is perfect. How do we convince her to talk to her doctor so that she can be evaluated.
A cousin who lives near her provides some care as well and a 2nd cousin has also observed the problem. Do we all get together and share our concern? She hung up the phone last time I tried to talk to her about the problem. My father died 8 months ago and she is worse now.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Sep 2010
21. My 88-year-old mother thinks we, her children, are stealing her things. She is losing things constantly and thinking other people take them. How should we take care of this?
This is very common, and very painful. Your mother can’t accept (or doesn’t want to accept) her memory problems. It’s natural to get a bit paranoid if things keep “disappearing.” She is in denial or just can’t understand that her memory is failing. Most caregivers go through this, particularly when dementia is involved. You may want to read this article:
Who is telling the truth - https://www.agingcare.com/133383
Take care,
Carol

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