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denise55 Asked August 2010

Why does my mom not hear or understand me, but seems to understand others just fine?

My mom is 81 years old ahs demetia and now lives with me. whenever I try to tell her something or answer what she may ask, she either says I dont understand you,or I cant hear you. But she can almost hold a conversation with everyone else without sayin she cant hear or dont understand. I have steps in my home leading to the bedrooms,she crawls up on hand and knees like a baby every night and comes down in am on her but like she is 2 years old. I understood this because her home had no stairs. But now the physical theraphist came today to evaluate her to see what services they could offer her and I, she walked up the stairs straight like she was 71 instead 0f 81. She was nervous but she rushed up there like she was trying to prove a point! He asked her to show him how she gets in and out of bed, and she laid down on her back and started doing bicycles twirls like she was excersing! But at night she's rubbing ointment on her knees!!! Can you fake demetia? (just a little humor)

Jsomebody Aug 2010
I know that one...Part of it ia familitarity breeds...well not contempt so much as a oh yes well I have heard all you have to say...

Also if a parent they may not be comfortable losing their position of the adult and may more willingly listen to doctors or peers than children. My grandparents wouldn't listen to anyone and it ended up having some un-funny consequences. Also some people simply do not hear what they do not want to hear. It is almost a physical condition...

Maybe she is scared and lonely and feels shunted aside and wants some attention, that is not uncommon.

195Austin Aug 2010
My husband could hear others and not me and near the end of his life when he was becoming unresponsive he would open his eyes and try to respond to other but not me and I was the one who was always there for him it seems in his mind he was punishing and it has been over a year since he passed away and while shredding some old papers the other day I found a note written on an insurance policy that proved to me how deep his dislike for me was-I was glad I found it and not our adult children.

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