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etsmith99 Asked August 2010

My sister-in-law is addicted to pain medicine. Can my brother make her seek help since he is the one who cares for her?

My sister in law is additive to pain medication. She feel and broke her jaw , while in the hospital the drs. told her she needed to go to a rehab center and she refused. My brother is taking care of her, she can no longer control her urine or bowels. She has to wear diapers and still my brother has to clean her up and cut the diaper away. She wakes him up in the middle of the night wanting to eat or medicine. She can call him on the phone when he is outside to come in and change the T V channel. She walks with a walker but not very good. Uses a potty chair by her bed. Falls because she is not coherent,. The health care nurse was coming to the house but she would call them and tell them she wasn't well so don't come. I told my brother she did it because she didn't want to do what they told her to do, and she was getting better. My brother waits on her hand and foot and now it's taking it's toil on him Can he make her get help?

hapfra Aug 2010
I am not all that certain what is wrong with your SIL---but if she is just using whomever to do things for her all the time-there is something very much wrong with the picture. It is kind of your Brother to take care of her-however he eventually will get burned out if he has not already.
Is there some type of support group that he can attend, and perhaps take you SIL along--or go by himself. Being an enabeler is fine-but to a limit. At that point (he just has to say NO) If it means having her placed in a facility--so be it, or she may suddenly turn around and become better.
My best wishes to all on this query~
Hap

NancyH Aug 2010
You don't say how old your sis-in-law is, that might make a difference as to why she seems to have given up. But then I guess if I had someone waiting on me hand and foot I'd be less likely to do anything for myself. There is NO excuse for some of the demands she is putting on her husband though ( change the TV channel?) come on now....
Sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment, and your brother is the ONLY one that can do that. I hate psycho babble, but he's enabling her to go on being an invalid when he doesn't tell her to 'change the stupid channel yourself honey'. :) This reminds me of the TV shows I've seen where they show the person that is bed ridden now because they have gained so much weight. Well, someone is still giving them fattening food and helping them stay heavy right? What seems like a kind thing to do for that huge person, by getting them whatever they want to eat, is really cruel in keeping them totally dependent and helpless. No thanks.

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