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arkymom Asked August 2010

My mom is telling people she has medical issues that aren't true and has decided she is an invalid. What can be done?

Hi. This is a new issue for us. Help.

susan63 Aug 2010
My Mom has health issues but she is quite capable of living a productive life IF she wanted to. She doesn't, she wants to just drift along and squeeze every amount attention anyone will give her. It is sad.

BMC Aug 2010
The minds of the elderly are tricky. She could be over exaggerating because she is depressed and needs attention or dementia is starting to set in. The best thing you could do is talk with a doctor, preferably a psychologist to determine the state of mind she is in. We could speculate all day, but a psychologist would be the fastest way to deal with the problem.

Good luck, and remember that patience is a virtue!

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Jsomebody Aug 2010
Definitely ask the doctor and verify she is not in pain or having troubles, but a bit of creative talking seems to go with the territory. I am not sure why, denial, wishful thinking?

timmyk48 Aug 2010
My 83 yr old father thought he was incontinent for 18 months....then the dr
told me he isn't. Dad has dementia and was so sure he was that he wore depends and pads for 18 months. Now at times he understands he is not incontinent and says it is just his mind playing tricks on him.
He still wears those things....as a precaution...I guess. LOL
Better safe than sorry.
It could be your Mom's mind also and she may believe she really has these problems.

PETER Aug 2010
Has Mom been seen by a Doctor to factually discover she has no illness
is mom in pain, pain is a nasty experience.
best of luck
Peter

christ Aug 2010
Hello, I am not sure the age of your mother, but perhaps she is trying to get some attention. Perhaps those medical issues that she is coming up with, you can help her define them and then ask if she still believes or agrees. Look on the internet and share with her, those persons that truly are diagnosed invalids and their lifestyle perhaps she may be disencouraged. Be patient with her and give her lots of attention when you can, find some outside groups that she may also enjoy.

Jsomebody Aug 2010
The last what ten years plus when my grandfather goes to the DR or discusses health issues with any one we stand behind him and nod or shake our heads to signal to the other person hearing him what is true, false or...exaggeration. It is better when he doesn't see, but even when he does, nothing comes of it. I think many people will understand, if your mother is old enough that she may be "mistaken" about a good many things. If not things can be verified for the most part as to what is actually going on...

Best of luck to you with this new and unpleasant bit of care giving...Hope it "clears up".

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