My mother’s health is declining from caring for my father. She was given the option of placing him in a nursing home. What can we do if she refused but needs help?

This is common - she feels it's her duty to care for him. But she needs to realize that if she gets sick or dies first, she won't be able to care for him at all. In a nursing home, she would still be a caregiver - just part of a team. Please try to get her faith community leader or some good friend - any third party she trust - to talk with her and help her understand that it's best for both of them to get help.

Carol

Talk to them about getting into an assisted living facility where they can both get the care that they need and deserve.

Perhaps advising your mother that if something happened to her, what would happen to Dad? She can tour facilities with you (if you are local) so she can see just how convenient it can be.

Assisted Living facilities with varying levelsof support can really be just what she needs. Its worth a try.