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Val622 Posted October 2022

My mom passed away.

My mom passed away last week at 87. End stage Alzheimer’s. The end was horrible. Got down to weighing nothing. I was with her and held her hand at the end even though I don’t even know if she was aware. It’s inhuman to let someone pass away like that. Something needs to be done. I just hope the image of her the last couple of days won’t stay with me forever. She’s at peace now. I also want to thank this forum for all their help and advice over the past several years.

bundleofjoy Oct 2022
my deep condolences.

Gershun Oct 2022
Val, so sorry for your loss.

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NYDaughterInLaw Oct 2022
Heartbreaking. So sorry for you.

LoopyLoo Oct 2022
Those last images may haunt you… but do consider: leaving this world with someone who loved her holding her hand was a beautiful comfort. She knew you were there and felt safe enough to let go.

My grandma passed in the same circumstances. I sang Amazing Grace to her as drifted out. I truly believe they know you’re there as they go.

Grandmaofeight Oct 2022
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️

pamzimmrrt Oct 2022
I am so sorry Val.. may you find peace in knowing you were with her.

earlybird Oct 2022
Hello Val, so sorry for the loss of your mom. A blessing you were with her toward the end of her life. I was with my mother during her dying phase and it was so difficult to see her in that state. She passed peacefully with me and my family present. I kept reliving the last hours, she was so fragile and lightweight almost flaccid. I decided to think of the wonderful memories with my mom. I played lots of her favorite songs and looked at photos of her every day. All this helped me tremendously. I know my mother heard me because I told her she had my blessing to leave and go to heaven to be with God and her family. Within a minute she stopped breathing I called to my brother and niece and we started praying and holding her she then took her last breath with all of all. The last thing to go is hearing and I believe your mother knew you were there with her. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this most difficult time.

Daughterof1930 Oct 2022
I’m so sorry for your loss and for what you watched happen to your mom. I have some images of my dad’s last days that I still don’t know quite how to describe my feelings about…it’s so very hard. I’m sure your mother felt your love and care. I wish you healing and peace

MicheleDL Oct 2022
Very sorry for the loss of your mom and your heart ache.

Just this week I received an article emailed to me from a new to caregiving acquaintance regarding a new med that may slow down the decline. Such a thing seems cruel for the sufferer and the caregiver. As if I'd like to prolong the playing-in-a-used toilet stage.

After a while of rest and collecting yourself, please consider contributing from time to time what you've learned.

lealonnie1 Oct 2022
My condolences over the loss of your dear mom to Alzheimer's. I lost my mom to advanced dementia & heart issues this past February myself, at 95 years old. I agree with you that it's inhumane to allow our loved ones to die of dementia. I and my mother were fortunate in that her heart gave out before the dementia devastated her body along with her mind, so we didn't have to bear that horror, although it was bad enough what she DID go through. Her sister died of AD and the end days were unbearable to witness. I pray that medical science will either find a cure for dementia/AD or come up with a way to allow these poor elders to pass before the disease decimates them.

Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace as you go through the grief process.

polarbear Oct 2022
Val - I agree with you. It's inhumane to 'live' through and die of dementia. And yes, something needs to be done, such as law to allow 'right to die' for dementia patients.

I am sorry you had to suffer along with your mother. Wishing healing and peace.

Fawnby Oct 2022
Very sorry you lost your mom. I agree with you about the ending. Something is being done about ways of dying in certain states and countries but planning needs to be done ahead of time.

Catskie62 Oct 2022
She is at peace now. Please take care of yourself and I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom. God bless

funkygrandma59 Oct 2022
I'm sorry for your loss. I can tell you from personal experience that over time those images of our loved ones(as horrific as they can be)do subside and we start to only remember them from better/healthier times.
I'm sure you did a great job caring for your mom, and she knew it even with her Alzheimer's, so rest in that knowledge,
And please now take good care of yourself and give yourself time and permission to grieve.
God bless you.

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