Are there good nursing homes that would take my brother immediately if I died? I am his only caregiver. I have a son but he has his own life.

I like the respite idea. If he does well, you can make it permanent.

Have you started touring any?

May be good to have a place in mind & have what paperwork you can in order.

Many people have a regular place for Respite Care. 2 weeks every 6 months or so. As a much needed break for the caregiver to recharge + a place the carereceiver gets to know & feel comfortable in.

Agree it is better to have even rough plan - then an emergency drop into the closest NH bed by a hospital social worker.

BigSister
I know it might not be your or brothers first choice to place him as long as you are managing. But one of the things we sometimes don’t take into consideration is that we, as caregivers, last longer if we don’t wear ourselves out. As you say, you are tired and as we get older, we seem to age faster. Give some thought to finding him a place now while you are able to advocate for him and have help with his care.
Can you make it financially without his contribution to your home? To help you with all these tough decisions you might want to contact the Area Agency on Aging in your area. Here is a link.
https://aging.ohio.gov/care-and-living/caregiver-support/caregiver-support-program-1
Look it over and give them a call and see if they can advise you on your brothers future as far as services available. Big Hugs.

It is always better to place a LO before it becomes an emergency. Most people wait too long and there is a real mess to deal with.

Make arrangements for your brother NOW, so all his ducks are lined up in the event of your untimely passing. Don't leave things up to chance. Arrange for him to be cared for now, while you're still alive and can plan ahead.

Better to place him before its needed, because otherwise the state will get involved and who knows what kind of care he'll be getting?

If brother is 81 how old are you? My suggestion is to place him in Memory care if he can afford it. If he can't, a nice LTC facility on Medicaid. That way you know he is safe and cared for.