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BarbBrooklyn Posted February 2020

Successful aging stories...

I'm on a cruise from Rome to Dubai. There are many older couples on board, but one situation jumped out at me; a pair of sisters in their early 80s, each owns a home. They live in Arizona in the winter and Missouri in the summer. No idea what their long term plan is, but right now, they are accepting their physical limitations (one got a wheelchair for a long trek in Egypt).


Share your stories of folks who are aging successfully.


Some folks here might benefit from being able to share these ideas with older parents.

Llamalover47 Mar 2020
Need: Once the Amish people reach a certain age, they are given an opportunity - if you will - to see if they would like to live in "the outside world." Your friend chose to do that and then he cannot get back into the Amish community once he'd made that decision. VERY hard life is the Amish lifestyle.

Llamalover47 Mar 2020
Need: Ikr.

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Weeroo Mar 2020
'Back in the day' most food was what you got from your garden, and no pesticides or hormones! You hardly ever went to the doctor and they didn't prescribe antibiotics! Mom's stories are so interesting (94) and most are of outside activities and working the celery fields, even when they lived in town.

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Llama,

Yes, those one room school houses only taught the basics but they definitely learned to be self reliant. I think about the Amish too. They only learn what is needed academically but they learn life skills to be extremely resourceful.

The Amish lifestyle is so interesting to me. I know a person who left their Amish community. He lived in New Orleans for awhile but moved to Houston, TX.

His family shunned him. That’s common because he chose to leave. He isn’t sorry that he left. He’s actually a very successful man. He lives a vastly different life than the simple life that he grew up in.

We see our friend about once a year when he visits New Orleans and we have gone to his home in Texas occasionally.

I don’t bring up his past. He will speak about it once in awhile but I see the sadness in his eyes when he remembers that lifestyle. He rebelled as a teenager.

He wanted more than his simplistic Amish life. It wasn’t for him. He loves going to hear jazz when he visits. He adores New Orleans food and we always have a good time with him.

You would never know that he was Amish. He was determined to get a good education. He worked hard and did so. Like I said, he’s very successful. He didn’t do it to become rich. Amish life in Pennsylvania Dutch country didn’t suit him.

Llamalover47 Feb 2020
Need: I don't just think so. I know so. Little ones were taught to sweep a room or carry a rag to clean. Kids didn't go to school for very long either. My maternal grandmother only went to 8th grade and that's pushing it. One-room school houses were the norm - grades one through twelve (if they were lucky) all were taught the same things.

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Llama,

I think so too. They had chores. Also, television was not around then! No one was watching tv programs.

Llamalover47 Feb 2020
Need: Wow! Good for your DH's great grandmother. I actually knew/know 4 centenarians! And thank you - Evelyn is indeed "the 2 % anomaly!!!!" "With 12 kids how did your husband's great grandmother have time to read?" Back then children as young as 3 were taught household skills, like washing dishes on a stool at the sink. A friend told me this.

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Llama,

Don’t you wish everyone could age as well as your friend? Wow! She is impressive.

My husband’s great grandmother died just shy of 102. Her 100th birthday party was so much fun. She was dancing at her party! We hired a band to play. She had 12 children (farm family) plus a couple of miscarriages. She outlived her husband, all but one sibling and a few of her kids.

She named her children after her favorite characters in books she read. With 12 kids how did she have time to read? Hahaha

Llamalover47 Feb 2020
My friend is going to turn 101 on March 2, 2020! At 100 years of age, she was promoted to head deacon of her church! She makes 80 home made donuts and an urn of coffee for church parishioners! She grows her own vegetables and fruits and cans them! She's sewn 10,000 quilts! She still possesses a New Hampshire driver's license. She used to do highway driving to see my mother in Massachusetts, but she got in trouble when her grandson, a New Hampshire state policeman found out about it! Her name is Evelyn. Shout out to Evelyn! Evelyn is the 2% anomaly!

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
I totally agree with what Heather is saying about having mental stimulation and staying as active as we can.

Look what happens when people don’t do that. People become overweight or obese.

I know weight can be a difficult issue for some people for various reasons. I understand that but Heather is right stating that it is beneficial to be active. I feel good physically and emotionally when I take walks or ride my exercise bike to my favorite music.

Good habits should start at a young age. I was never allowed to sit in front of the television for hours and hours at the time everyday as a kid. I would have been bored doing that.

People who are idle for too long become bored and rather than living a productive life they usually interfere in other’s lives.

Sadly, this causes them to be alienated by others because most people find those who interfere as very annoying.

We should never lose our own identities. It is nice to share our lives but remain individuals with various interests.

Just because someone retires from working it does not mean quitting everything. Even those with bad eyesight can listen to audio books to stimulate their minds.

I love listening to music. Music truly is a universal language and is therapeutic. There is so much other than television. Television is fine. There are quality programs to watch but we don’t have to watch a million hours of tv.

There are lots of places to volunteer in the community as well.

Heather10 Feb 2020
I think a lot of people age rapidly and die rather young due to lack of self care and mental stimulation.

I notice that people who retire too early, and do nothing but sit in front of their television daily, and develop unhealthy eating habits, tend to become more seriously ill at a younger age.

In my professions, I know many elderly people some in their 90s who are still living on their own, active and sharp as any 30 year old. Some still run businesses in their 90s.

Many had parents that died young of various disorders and that was their wake up call to live a healthier lifestyle. It may also rule out genetics as a reason for them living to be old and healthy, when their parents did not.

The common denominators, IMO, is that they all have a healthy diet, either vegetarian or eat meat sparingly, drink alcohol moderately, do not do recreational drugs, they walk or garden or play tennis or engage in some type of exercise or sport regularly.

Another important issue, IMO, is that all these people find something to do that takes them outside of themselves.

That is to say that they either still work or they do something for other people rather than expecting other family to wait on them hand and foot.

When elderly people still take care of their own day to day lives, as well as the lives of others, it stimulates their brain and that helps them stay sharp and active.

There are numerous books that discuss this: "Super Agers", "Empowered aging", "Lifespan", etc.

TekkieChikk Feb 2020
Everyone I've know that fits into this category- my grandmother, both parents, FIL- they all had a few things in common: they never stopped moving and never stopped exercising their brains.

My dad is 86 and since mom has died has learned how to cook, clean, grocery shop and wash clothes and is actually pretty good at it. He drives, takes care of a large yard, shoots pistol competitively with a group of retirees three times a week, and reads the newspaper every day. And has a beer every evening- but just one. As he puts it, "Every day above ground is a good day."

MP53840 Feb 2020
My uncle and aunt are 95 and 87, they are both in very good shape. He exercises every day, she does the STEP class twice a week. They became vegetarian 2 years ago, eat extremely healthy and do all the house work by themselves.
He used to be a dentist and retired at 83 still very sharp and in excellent shape.
She has always been an artist.
if I get to be like them at that age, I’ll sure enjoy every moment of my life!

Weeroo Feb 2020
Thank you for this thread! Living with Mom and watching her decline after a very active life (94!) has been a bit of a downer. I didn't realize how much until I read these great stories!

bigsispjt Feb 2020
True story. A mother and daughter at our church traveled a couple of years ago. The daughter said, "Mom, were cutting it close and it doesn't look like assistance is going to get here in time, let's walk."

When they got to the gate the mom gave the gate agents holy heck.

"You ought to be ashamed making a 101 year-old woman walk that far. "

The mom is still living and comes to church every Sunday.

gdaughter Feb 2020
Well, I've been able to see both sides. For over 28 years I have worked at an office on aging helping people get services in their home when they become unable...but seeing that with some help they can make it work. So I have seen many struggle and have health issues...sometimes a surprise. And then we have what goes on under my own roof: Dad will be 103 in May. (not a typo) and he is the poster elder for aging well. Nothing stops him. He is engaged in life. He volunteers daily at Meals on Wheels where he has over 25 years. He bought a new car over a year ago. It HAD to be a particular one with a power adjust passenger seat for mom. They are both shorties. They've been married 70 years. Yes he drives, safely. He loves mowing the lawn, planting...golfing, walking daily in the mall when the weather is not nice. When I tell people they want to know his secret. I say because there is always a good woman taking care of him. He is deaf. Uses an iphone to communicate with. When he was 80 he had by pass surgery with no prior heart issues. After he turned 100 he wound up getting a pacemaker. He was out of the hospital less than 24 hours later. And he is often keeping a not so watchful eye on mom who is here with dementia.
He is clueless as to how high much it takes to maintain him. I am exhausted. I have become his "wife-y". It isn't enough that I work and come home and spend 2 hours making a nice dinner...it's "do you think sometime you might be able to make something in the wok like mom used to?" I reheated my plate of food the other night no less than 4 times because of both them doing or needing something.
Yes he is amazing...and also lucky.

littlebear28 Feb 2020
An inspiration to me currently, is a dear woman in her 80‘s who does multiple volunteer opportunities for her church, loves to exercise by walking, swimming at the Y, and on occasion is still playing tennis. She is slowing down some as she retired from her part-time job two years ago. Continues to travel and had the time of her life visiting Israel.

Does she get ill? Yes, had a recent stay in the hospital but couldn’t wait to get back on her feet again. Neighbors helped by walking with her one block at a time until she got stronger.

Living until the LORD calls her home!

ExhaustedPiper Feb 2020
Barb your cruise sounds wonderful, I hope you are enjoying every second if it!

Katiekate Feb 2020
Oh Barb, coming from Italy there is every chance that you will not be permitted to exit from the ship!

please...keep us informed. I worry that you may be caught up in a situation.

Jamesj Feb 2020
It is amazing when you hear stories about folks who have been healthy and happy physically, mentally and financially into their 80's, 90's and 100's.  My mother in law will be 98 this month...still lives alone, drives, goes to church, plays bridge with her "younger" friends, plays bridge on line on her computer!  follows the stock market...still grocery shops and cooks her own meals, etc.  I know she is the exception to the rule, but it is truly amazing.  I do believe it is a mixture of genetics, lifestyle and a bit of luck!

Isabelsdaughter Feb 2020
It is comforting to hear these kind of stories. Unfortunately, some people have mental and physical issues hat stop them from enjoying life at this age. My mother had dementia and her life was a nightmare towards the end. I wish things were different for her, but it was her fate.

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Have a great time cruising, Barb!

I think staying active is the best thing for seniors, physically and mentally. For those who are healthy I say to enjoy your life. Don’t stop living because you are old.

My great aunts walked everywhere. They volunteered until their 90’s! They baked fruit cakes for everyone in the family at the holidays.

Not sure if they liked the baking or the sampling of the rum that they put in the cakes the best! But they liked to bake.

Beatty Feb 2020
Verrazano Bridge Brooklyn
behind me, ocean
Uninterrupted

(A haiku by Calvin Olsen)

Happy sailing Barb!

anonymous912123 Feb 2020
I don't know about me being successful, however, I live alone, drive my motorhome towing a VW, to travel all over our beautiful USA, cruise 3 or 4 times a year, cruising from Rome in October, Panama Canal in April, Alaska in July and in 2021, taking a 3 week adventure in Greece, haven't decided where else yet!

So at almost age 73, I think that I am doing ok! I will go as long as I can pick up my suitcase. As for the motorhome travels, I believe that I have many fun adventures ahead of me! Move over, here I come!

Barb, have fun on your cruise!

Beatty Feb 2020
I just started water aerobics classes this Jan. I was a bit curious about the instructor as it looked like the same guy from when my kids learnt to swim - 10 yrs earlier! (he was a senior back then).

His story was he took up fitness coaching after retirement from his career. Just wanted to stay active. He taught many types of classes per week but now just doing the water classes. Demonstrates all the moves outside the pool: kicks, punches, jogging, balancing on one leg, star jumps & more.

He is now 93.

gladimhere Feb 2020
Enjoy, Barb!🚢

elaine1962 Feb 2020
Enjoy your cruise Barbbrooklyn. It sounds wonderful. You are an inspiration for anyone at any age. You are showing people to get out and live!! Get out and enjoy life and travel whether you are 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 or 100 we need to enjoy our golden years. Living and traveling is not for just the younger generation. I am 58 and my husband is 63 and we enjoy traveling. We have been to the Caribbean a few times and some of the resorts we stayed at the people were very young. 20’s and 30’s. We didn’t care. We had fun anyway. Some couples were on their honeymoon. Enjoy life. Everyone. While we are still here on this earth.

Geaton777 Feb 2020
I guess it depends on what the definition of "successful" is? It's successful until it isn't (dementia, profound illness/physical problems). I've told my own 90-yr old mother that she should travel as long as she is physically able (meaning I'll travel with her). I just flew down to FL with her for her brother's funeral. She wouldn't have gone without me and it was such a wonderful and joyful time with family for her. My mom lives next door to me and helped care for our 3 sons and now gets to have fun with her great grandson. She still drives a little, enjoys walking her dog, is semi-independent. Is this successful? It's much better than most people have at her age but she has the unearned benefit of genetic blessings. It's a great topic and look forward to the variety of responses!

Daughterof1930 Feb 2020
Gene England is amazing, though he wouldn’t likely describe himself that way. I enjoyed learning about him and his current work habits.


https://www.deseret.com/utah/2019/10/24/20910602/gene-england-still-trucking-at-100-years-old

And Barb, your cruise sounds just wonderful! Enjoy!

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