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Staffbull18 Posted April 2018

My mom was med flight to another hospital Monday morning I didn’t find out until I called the nursing home.

I don’t know where to start. I didn't find out until I called the nursing home to  confirm the house assessment for Tuesday. They said they would call if there were any problems. Well they called me and they said she isn’t there. I am like where is she? At the hospital. I asked which one it was trauma 1. I am like why didn’t you call me I am her poa they said they called my brother. They said because he was local. This is 8:30 it happened at 4:40 am. I called my brother and he said they took her by helicopter and she was in a coma just like daddy was. He said he signed for the paperwork and he hopes he isn’t responsible for anything. He said he hopes cannot be there until late tonight where they flew her to is 3 hours from me. I got a hold of the icu nurse and she said she is responding to pain. They sent out cultures and she has a breathing tube. I am freaking out I called my husband he is a deputy sheriff he comes home and I have no idea how long we will be there so my husband said I should see if my pain clinic will give me my prescription before I leave because my appointment was Tuesday. Well of course no, so I got into see him and we had to get the dogs and leave I didn’t know what I was going to see. I thought it was the end we get there and my brother and his wife and my niece and her boyfriend. I was shocked my brother was there I was really angry that he hadn’t called me but it didn’t matter but it was a place to think about instead of what was going on anyway. I just went to him and said I was sorry I didn’t know and my sister in law attacked me saying we are not going to rehash this I called you for 4 hours. I didn’t have anything but it doesn’t matter I just wanted to see my mom. He said go see your mom they are taking the tube out she still had it in and she was trying to talk she kept asking me if I was okay. They got it out she was responsive and I guess at the nursing home she was unresponsive and they put the tube in and took her to the hospital but they flew her immediately. They put her in a self induced coma for the breathing tube she was septic and had a blood infection and other things. My husband left to get my brother and I was waiting. I finally went out and my brother was gone we decided to go get dinner around 6;30 we were on our way back and my cousin texted me asking where we were. I told her she was there with her daughter and my other cousin who is a nurse and they said the nurse said she couldn’t tell them anything about her condition. They had to talk to me. My husband laughed because That would never be me. I had no idea what was going on I asked the nurse and she said it was miscommunication and I don’t know But it seems like my cousin the nurse can’t stand me but I asked her to come back and have the nurse explain to us what is going on and the nurse did verify that I never said anything. I don’t want people to think I said anything when my daddy was dying the nurse asked him if he would go to rehabilitation therapy and I asked him and he said hell no but my brother was under the assumption that I said that. Anyway we left she was doing well for the situation and we had the dogs. I called my brother to just make sure he knew I wasn’t attacking him he knew that but I now he informed me that he is done with everything. He is selling all of his machinery even tools with my grandpa name on it and it’s all on me. He put in for a transfer and just tell him where to send the flowers when she dies. He knows I am in no shape to do it but he is done with her and farming. It broke my heart she did call him last week and he said he was done. He will farm this year but that’s it she said it broke her heart she thought he was just talking. Well it’s reality but he says all these things to me but he needs to be talking to her. It’s all because of my daddy’s will there is a lot of hatred in it. My husband is named but not my sil and I get half of the income. But it also says it’s all my mom's but they had their lawyer look at it but I talked to her lawyer and he said it sounds like it's all your mom’s but he wants to see it. Long story but he really is selling everything he has blocked my number again. I have done nothing. I just came home to help her good news she had parainfluenza 3 which is deadly they were supposed to send her back to the nursing home. Everything was set by the hospital well the nursing home got a denial she is staying the weekend we had to come back my husband works and we only had one car. She always says we will see. Well we seeing is done she needs to make some decisions and my brother needs to tell her what his intentions are not me. It’s never ending and my cousin keeps saying all three of us need to talk. I cannot get someone to do something they don’t want to do. Sorry I really needed to talk and she avoids even regarding DNR or full code. They did full code I said I need to know and so do her providers. I don’t know where to turn there is so much more.

DeSantis1 Apr 2018
Honey I appreciate all your doing!

Get an advocate, have a round table discussion, so that everyone knows their roll.

#1- do not take mom back to convalescent hospital that has made her illness worse or mama will surely die sooner -leaving you and family with guilt

God bless you

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