The Validation Breakthrough.

Since getting dementia, my LO has a tendency to say that she is scared. It started when she wasn't sure what was happening because she could tell her mind was changing. She would say it mostly when in a doctor's office, ER, x-ray table, etc. Most around her, including the MC transport person, would keep telling her to NOT be scared. Well, I decided to comfort her by telling her that I know you're scared, but, I'm right here to protect you. Letting her continue to say she was scared was beneficial, imo, because it was a release of sorts.

I'm finding it incredibly helpful with my mom. I explained it to my family as "putting a foot through the doorway into her world and looking around and then gently bringing her into our world." Just yesterday when a meltdown threatened at the doctor's office I was able to commiserate and divert her attention enough that the crisis was averted. It was good for her and empowering for me to realize that I have the tools to help her cope.

When dH growls, that never makes sense to me.

Sendhelp,
That's just my way of trying to make her feel normal, the way we used to talk. I try to make it seem like I get it. It seems to work okay. For example, if I ask her how she's feeling and she says, "The part was over in the next part." I don't seem shocked or expect her to explain that. I just respond with, "Okay. It's good that the parts are getting to the right location. Let's go see what kind of parts we can see down the hallway. Can you follow me in your wheelchair?" And we move on.

Sunnygirl,
The part about never letting your loved one know that they are not making sense......maybe that will work with dH.

He cannot, however, answer ANY question with a "yes" or "No". Everyone is different.

Maybe I will try not asking him anything for awhile.
Thanks.

I'm glad that you were inspired by that You Tube video. I'm going to share it with the staff at my LO's MC facility. They likely have already been trained, but, still.

Whenever, I visit my LO in the MC facility, I try to touch her arm, shoulder, etc. As long as she seems content, I do that. I also always hug and kiss her cheek when arriving and leaving. So, I'm going to increase it a little more. My LO is still verbal, but, only with short sentences or just words that don't really make sense, but, I never let her know that. I keep talking like things are fine and try to just make positive comments, asking her things with yes or no answers. 

I'm glad that you were inspired by that You Tube video. I'm going to share it with the staff at my LO's MC facility. They likely have already been trained, but, still.

Whenever, I visit my LO in the MC facility, I try to touch her arm, shoulder, etc. As long as she seems content, I do that. I also always hug and kiss her cheek when arriving and leaving. So, I'm going to increase it a little more. My LO is still verbal, but, only with short sentences or just words that don't really make sense.

Jeannegibbs, I tried the validation technique with Mom today. She is early-to-middle stage AD with NPD. It didn't work this time. I was disappointed, but who knows, she might respond later in the disease. In the meantime, I will continue to try.

Sunnygirl,
Thanks! I watched it too! Everything is possible.

Sunnygirl, The youtube video was incredible. Feil demonstrated that late-stage demented souls can be reached! Thank you so much. The video brought peace to a very difficult day.

Amber, no, I've not had experience with this (with validation, yes, but not with mentally ill person). I imagine the underlying mental illness complicates many aspects of dealing with dementia.

But it certainly could not be harmful to try it. If you do, let us know how it goes.

This reminds me of the techniques that I have seen by Teepa Snow on You tube. I find it very inspirational and impressive. There is a video of Naomi Feil using this technique demonstration on You tube. It's very touching and brought my eyes to tears. Have you seen it? I'm going to PM you the link.