and physical. How do we meet both their needs? They don't want to move, we have a caretaker who cleans, walks with my mom, tried to get my dad to exercise - they argue about "stuff" that they have argued about for years. Traditional female serves male. I signed my dad to take classes with me but he won't go - he does not want to leave the home. How specifically can I help my parents? I work partime and have two young kids.
You really can't make them change unless something drastic happens. I'd ask them to wear personal alarms to they can summon help if they need it. These are available through many outlets, but the in-home care agency can advise you on that. Gradually increase the care they get as much as possible, and start planting sees about staying independent by getting assisted living so they can care for each other but still have help when they need it.
You sound like a loving daughter. I wish you all the best,
Carol