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PEACE2 Posted May 2009

IS THERE A DEFINITIVE DIAGNOSIS FOR DEMENTIA

I HAVE TWO PARENTS THAT I AM THE CAREGIVER. MOTHER 88 YRS OLD, AND STEP-FATHER 97 YRS OLD. BOTH OF THEM HAVE HAD CAT SCANS OF THE BRAIN. CHANGES WERE NOTED ON BOTH OF THEM. DOES THESE CAT SCANS SHOW IN SOME WAY THAT THERE IS DEMENTIA/ALZHEIMER'S. NO ONE HAS TO TELL ME THAT THEY BOTH HAVE DEMENTIA, AND PROBABLY ALZHEIMERS, BUT IS THE DIAGNOSIS MORE WHAT YOU ARE OBSERVING, SUCH AS BEHAVIOR, COGNITIVE ABILITY, ETC. IT IS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE, AND I AM LOSING MY MIND. THEY ARE MAKING ME JUST AS SICK AS THEY ARE. I AM NOW HAVING OUTSIDE HELP COME IN THREE TIMES A WEEK, AND ALTHOUGH I AM LIVING 3 MINUTES FROM THEM, I FIND FOR MY OWN SANITY AND SURVIVAL, I HAVE TO DETACH MYSELF TO SOME DEGREE, AND HAVE STOPPED TRYING TO MEET THEIR EVERY DEMANDING NEED. IT NEVER IS GOOD ENOUGH, AND THEIR IS ALWAYS SOMETHING THEY ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT, OR MY MOTHER, WILL GO IN TO ONE OF HER SCREAMING EPISODES, OR HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO CRUEL, MEAN ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR. I AM GOING TO START A SUPPORT GROUP AT A SENIOR CENTER, WHERE THEIR ARE SPEAKERS, QUESTIONS ASKED, AND SHARING OF EXPERIENCES, AND MAYBE SOME HINTS ARE ON HOW TO HANDLE IT. I ALSO AM GOING TO MEET WITH A SOCIAL WORKER THROUGH THE SENIOR CENTER, ON ISSUES THAT I AM EXPERIENCING, SUCH AS NO INVOLVEMENTS FROM OTHER SIBLINGS, AND HOW TO TRY TO GET SOME KIND OF SUPPORT FROM THEM,EVEN IF IT IS JUST SOME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, WHICH FRANKLY IS ALL I REALLY WANT FROM THEM. I AM RAMBLING, BUT DOES ANYONE OUT THERE KNOW, DOES A CAT SCAN SHOW THAT THERE IS DEMENTIA/ALZHEIMERS. I AM LOSING MY MIND, AND NOW IT IS SURVIVAL FOR MYSELF AND MY SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND. BEING THERE FOR LOVED ONES IS ONE THING, BUT YOU CANNOT GIVE UP YOUR LIFE TO THE POINT WHERE YOU MAY HAVE TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED. I AM LEARNING, BUT I HAVE COME TO CERTAIN REALIZATIONS, AND STOPPED BEATING MYSELF OVER FEELING GUILTY ABOUT EVERYTHING. I HAVE TO GET MYSELF MENTALLY HEALTHY AGAIN, AND IF THAT MEANS NOT BEING AT THEIR BECON CALL, WHICH I WAS, THAT IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO. IT HAS TAKEN ME TWO YEARS OF UNBELIEVABLE ABUSE, AND THE LACK OF ANY SUPPORT FROM SIBLINGS. NEVER, EVER THOUGHT THEY COULD BE SO CRUEL, AND UNCARING. THE DYNAMICS OF MY FAMILY CHANGED WHEN I STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE, AND WITH MY PARENTS WILLINGNESS MOVED FROM NEW YORK TO N.C. I CANNOT BELIEVE THE JOURNEY I AM GOING THROUGH. WOULD APPRECIATE ANYTHING ADVICE, ESPECIALLY WHAT EXACTLY DOES CAT SCANS SHOW.

PEACE2 May 2009
YOU DO NOTWANT TO BELIEVE THAT YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIIFICANT OTHER CAN HAVE SUCH AN EFFECT OF YOU. I DID NOT WANT TO BELIEVE IT EITHER,BUT WHAT WE WATCH ON THE TV IS US. I CAN'T BELIEVE IS IS ME. I NEVER THOUGHT FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I WAS ONE OF THOSE CASES THAT WAS ON 60MINUTES OR 20/20 , BUT GUESS WHAT I AM ONE OF THEM/

PEACE2 May 2009
HI, I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO LOOK AS THOUGH THEIR SPOUCE HAS IT ALLL TOGETHER. I FEAR THAT I AM SO BRAIN WASHED, THAT I CAN'T THINK ANYMORE. I HAVE WATCHED SO MANY OF THESE PROGRAMS AND FELT THIS IS NOT ME, BUT I BEIEVE NOW THIS IS NOW ME. I NEED HELP VERY BAD. MY HUSBAND HAS MADE BE BELIEVE ALL THESE YEARS THAT SOMETHING WAS VERY WRONG WITH ME, AND I BEILIVED HIM. I DON'T BELIVE HIM ANY LONGER, BUT MY SELF ESTEEM AND SELF WORTH IS AT AN ALL TIME LOW. IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE THAT CAN HELP ME.

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