Mother in hospice, refusing to eat, bed-bound. So frustrated and angry!
We finally got my 90year old mom on hospice. Her "diagnosis" is mental decline and not eating. She knows everyone, and where she is, what year it is, etc., can roll to use bed pan, follow instructions, etc. But she is so dehydrated that we can't even sit her up. So I just raise her bed up to feed her. She was eating a little bit a few times a day.
Yesterday, I went in with breakfast, and she just outright refused..well, took one bite and spit it out. I got so angry! How can she just refuse to try to get better? How can anyone WANT to have their child have to wipe their butt and hand feed them and put diaper on?? I just don't understand! I could see if she was totally out of it, but she talks and understands questions and comments...I have tried everything to entice her to eat, drink, etc. To no avail. I guess that is why hospice was called. This person is NOT my mother!
We haven't used any of the meds from her "comfort" package (morphine and anti anxiety meds) , but I am thinking she is tense, as when I go in her room, she is holding her neck and rocking back and forth. When I ask her if she is in pain, she says no. But starting these meds might be the beginning of the final slide. Part of me dreads that, and part of me feels like this is no way for anyone to live, either for her or me.