Is he dying?

I  routinely  had to rush up to Massachusetts from my Maryland home because I got word, yet again--for the 14th time--from my cousin, who couldn't handle anything that my mother was in the hospital. This was draining to say the least. My mother was legally blind, had congestive heart failure that went undiagnosed FOR YEARS because she never spoke up about it, atrial fibrillation, was incontinent, loss of olfactory sense, loss of hearing----YET SHE ARGUED WITH US TO LIVE ALONE. When her blood pressure dropped dangerously low (60 over 40), I had no choice but to move in with her for an extended period. While I was living in her home, it was emotional roller coaster rides of 4 hospital trips and stays. The last one was from an ischemic stroke, from which she died. I've sworn that I will NOT put my daughter through this! My is that every time I got the call from my cousin I was sure my mother's life was in jeopardy.

I agree with what the pastor told isthisrealyreal they do tend to have a burst of energy before they pass.. My dad went into the hospital after a major heart attack the doctors told us the most he had to live was 5 days to gather any family that wanted to say bye on the 3rd morning when I arrived at the hospital dad was sitting up on his bed eating oatmeal & talking like he was going to pull through at this point the family all thought the doctors were wrong we were going to take dad back home he was so normal on that day. Then the fourth day he was back to being out of it breathing terribly & on the fifth night he passed away. Be strong thoughts & prayers are with your family at this hard time.

My pastor once told me that it is a very common phenomenon for people to get a huge burst of energy, appear to rally and pass away. I pray for you and your family to have the strength to endure whatever comes. I would tell mom that she has already said goodbye, now just enjoy what time they have together, read to him or whatever they enjoyed doing, help her to find peace and rest as she is losing half of herself and is at risk of being overcome with emotions, bad health, etc.

May God bless you and your family on this difficult journey.

My stepfather did something very similar. Doctors sent him home and said he probably had 2-3 days to live. Next day he perked up, talked to friends/relatives all across the country, joked. I thought the doctors were crazy. Died the next day. Blessings to you at this special time.

I don't know if "typical" but rallying is normal and generally desired. Hospital settings are "hot-beds" of disease and infection. Like Sepsis. Praise the Lord your father beat it!

You might want to start using Colloidal Silver - Food Grade - I add a couple drops to DH's first drink of the day and to mine and even the dog's food. We're all doing very well as the Silver kills bacteria. Also Food Grade Iodine - just a couple of drops.

My father was dying and the doctor said to call in the family. When we all gathered around his ICU bed - he rallied and lived another 10+ years!

Yes, it can be confusing to the family - but we decided that all our prayers (up and down the Eastern US) were answered and he recovered.

From this forum, I've learned this is common. My Mom's the same way. With her many issues, she could go today or two years from now. It's exhausting for everyone, most especially for Mom.

I am sorry that you are going through this. My Mom did a similar thing and it went on for over a year and a half. She kept rallying and they kept sending her to nursing homes for rehab after each hospitalization and telling her she would recover and go to her own home again, then she would go into end of life symptoms again and again this went on. She finally passed away and found peace on hospice in my home. I don't know why it had to be this way. My Dad decided one day to take a nap, put on his best pajamas and passed away. Everyone is different. My advice is to take it one day at a time and don't forget to take care and do little things for yourself so you don't burn out. Day at a time.

Grandfather was taken to hospital in a coma we thought that this was the end, as we were in the process of arranging things he sat up saying "I am not dead" I stayed with him chatting about everyday things for about four hours and he also had a meal and several drinks " I am feeling a bit tired now I am going to have a sleep, see you when I wake up" He turned on his side and passed away.

My FIL did the same thing: he'd be essentially on death's door, we'd all race to the hospital to find him sitting up, eating soup, chatting with people!

It became pretty emotionally grueling.

The day he finally did pass, we once again hauled up to the hospital, fully expecting another day of just sitting--and he was in a coma and the dr. said he was not coming out of it. His breathing was different, his coloring has turned very gray--and we realized that this was time. Dr asked if he could administer some morphine to ease his breathing struggles, the kids said yes. Within 15 minutes he had passed.

It was exhausting--but it was a "normal" passing.

Thank you for your comments. I know many other families experience this too. The cycling without a clear, expected ending is emotionally exhausting. My mother has said goodbye multiple times believing he would pass away that evening, except he has then rallied. It's happened several times now and my mother is heart sick. The cycle is exhausting.

Dear svnycdbb,

I'm so sorry, I know this is not easy. My father seemed so normal three days before his passing and yet the last day of his life, there was no indication he would pass that afternoon. Same with my grandmother. She had a heart attack and kidney failure but the week before she passed, the doctor thought she was rallying. I guess this is only to say maybe this part of the journey.

Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.

It's so hard to tell! I've heard of folks rallying just before the end, having a brief burst of energy--i'm told that my SIL, on Hospice with Pancreatic Cancer, perked up in her last 24 hours, got on the phone, sold 3 cars for her clients and then was gone the next morning.

I'd ask the hospice folks if they are seeing signs that this is a last hurrah or real improvement.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.