How do I know it's time for hospice care?

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I have been following this site for quite sometime now, and I find it so helpful because I was my mom's sole caregiver for many years until about 3 months that she had a bad fall, was hospitalized and finally I made the decision to place her in long term care at a nursing home, she suffers from Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease, she no longer walks, speaks or eats by mouth. I am now in a very hard situation because my mom has been hospitalized 3 times since then, once to get a feeding tube, and twice with neumonia and C diff infrction. This last time she was intubated and spent 4 days in ICU, her Dr from the NH has advised me it is time to consider hospice because of how weak her body is after suffering from strong bouts of neumonia and the c diff, and her lungs just not responding to meds as they should. I am so scared this is her end, and I am not sure if I should just keep her from going into hospice a little longer. I feel I am giving my mom a death sentence and just giving up on her. What should I do?

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If you would like to connect with others who have also experienced hospice (and other medical settings) murder, go to the Facebook page: Exposing the Invisible Culture of Death in American Health Care
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How does a doctor make a determination about when to order hospice for elderly patients?
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Prolife is obviously not going to quit. So, I say let's all quit acknowledging his/her posts. You know how they say to ignore a bully............let's all ignore Prolife.
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This intelligent and reasonable discussion was over when the troll showed up.  imo.























On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed
It rolled off the table, it rolled on the floor
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door
It rolled in the garden and under a bush
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.
The mush was as tasty as tasty could be,
And early next summer it grew to a tree.
The tree was all covered with beautiful moss
It grew great big meatballs and tomato sauce.
So if you eat spaghetti all covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball and don't ever sneeze.


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That's all folks!
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Proliferation, you've Clearly Never cared for anyone suffering at the end of their life. If I were a spouse or parent under your care, lacking Proper support and love,being denied the appropriate medication that would ease my suffering, I would request another Caregiver, or Medical POA. YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY Not going to be seeing to my wellbeing, and getting me the help that I need, to live out my days with dignity and as comfortable and pain free as possible! 

You are a cold and callous human being, who shouldn't ever be in the role as a Caregiver. I think you are on the wrong site, pushing your agenda on those who are trying to do the right thing by their Loved ones. I pity your one loved ones, as they must be suffering, it so sad! Dying in pain is such a cruel way to go, when there is such wonderful alternatives and can be prevented, such as Hospice, and I know, I've been through the painful journey of caring for 2 parents, dying of Cancer, and it isn't pretty. Thank God for Hospice!!!
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Right, Prolife; lots of us folks who are caring for our dying parents are out here soliciting for Hospice organizations. Are YOU caring for a parent, spouse or child who has a life limiting illness? Or are you a troll? If your loved one has less than six months to live and suffering confusion, delerium, pain and terror, what do you want for them? More of that? Or meds that will calm them?

Morphine helped my mom, who appeared to be in some sort of physical or psychic pain, with pneumonia, wrist fracture, post hip fracture repair, vascular dementia, total aphasia,CHF and pleural effusions, transition peacefully from pain/terror to death, while my SIL and I played opera arias and music from her childhood.

Should we have made her suffer through whatever psychological terrors her abusive Catholic childhood were bringing to the forefront of her mind? She'd spent last summer convinced she had leprosy. And that she hadn't paid her taxes in 1936. And that she was a terrible person and was going to Hell, which to HER was a very real place.

Was I going to let that happen. Nope.

Prolife, take your agenda and shove it somewhere else. Hospice is a blessing.
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Rorococo, thank you for sharing your story. What you witnessed was real. I have witnessed it too, as well as many others.

Don't ever let anyone convince you that you didn't see what you know you saw.

There are a lot of trolls from the hospice industry here doing damage control and soliciting new enrollees.
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Unbelievable. I mean, where do these people come from? Sometimes, I really wonder how these people have jobs in their field. I often feel like I have to figure it out, explain it to them and hope they get it. AND THEY are the professionals. It's so frustrating. Another incident is involving my LO''s leaning. I had to recommend that her medication be reviewed, since that could cause leaning. Wouldn't you think the facility, a primary and ER doctor just might consider this? No, I had to do the research and inquire.
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Sunny, what I did was ask for a care meeting at mom's facility and had them call a hospice organization to be present at that meeting. It was agreed in principle thst mom was eligible for hospice or palliative care. Not to long before, the hospitalist at the local hospital had declared her " NOT ready" for palliative care.
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Ok. I have been asking for Palliative care for years. Oh well....it seems there is some kind of confusion. ER doctor said the facility could do UTI test, but, facility said no. They had to send to ER. I'm in the middle. ER doctor not too pleased. (No issue with us, but, the facility and primary.)

I wonder if the ER doctor can reccommend..........A couple of months ago, another ER doctor told me that he was contacting the Primary about Hospice, but, I never heard anything back. Maybe, the Primary didn't agree. Oh well.....I think there is a conflict.

I will try Palliative Care again. I'm just not sure they understand what that means.
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