I am 74 years old and married for 51 years. How do I handle disagreements over intimacy?

Perhaps you got bored after 51 years, but losing interest in sex at age 74 is not inevitable or normal. I can promise that, at age 79, DH 75. Not so often, but still sometimes, and lots of cuddling in the meantime. I go to bed with my DH every night, and move to another bed in the night because we are both restless sleepers. The first stage in bed together is me holding bits of him, which soothes him and me and helps to send us both off to sleep. Full catastrophe sex happens every 3 or 4 weeks. We have been married for 26 years, not 51, but we aren’t planning on stopping to look after the sensitive bits of either of our bodies.

My suggestion to you would be to work out what you can do to make him happy, without it being full catastrophe intercourse that you no longer want. Helping with sex is a very important part of marriage, so far as I am concerned.

You keep yourself safe and know that a marriage license doesn’t equate sex on demand. Leave if and when needed

If you’re 74, he must be same age or older? I find it hard to believe he is able to do anything!?! That would be a miracle..this site is about caregiving advice..does he think he can do something that is impossible?

Can he even perform at his age without Viagra or similar drug? Or is this a "control" issue? Has he always been this way?

No woman should be intimidated or forced.

This isn't really a caregiving-related issue unless your husband has a cognitive or physical impairment that is impacting your lives. Maybe consider discussing it with a couple's counselor (and maybe your husband will learn better ways to deal with disappointment overall rather than expressing it with anger, which is always unproductive).

Hopefully your husband respects the word NO and there's no physical or emotional abuse involved? If he lays a hand on you, call 911 immediately.

What health issues does your husband suffer from? If there is any dementia involved, Inappropriate Sexual Behavior is common and can often be medicated by the doctor.

If this anger is new behavior, I suggest he get a physical and cognitive work up with his PCP right away.

Best of luck to you.