My mother acts more delusional every day! How do I handle this? She 90.

My husband is a 25+ year retired pharmacist. My mother started seeing things, first it was kittens, then monsters. He said that’s the scariest thing, kittens eventually turn into monsters then turn into them running around with a knife trying to kill the imaginary monster. A proper diagnosis is essential.

We went through this with my dad (he just recently passed with Alzheimer’s at 95). You need to have a better team of doctors. When dad started having delusions and anxiety they added a neurologist who increased his divalproex. This helped greatly. But too much can make them drowsy so monitor her reaction and keep the Dr team informed.
it would also help for you to be better informed on how the disease progresses and how to address each stage. There are great videos online. This forum was also a big help for me when I found it years ago.

Please consider another issue: if your Mom's delusions and hallucinations are socially disruptive, facilities may not keep or accept her. This, after reading many posts from other family caregivers in burnout who were stuck in this situation. Not a good scenario. I have seen ads for medications addressing delusions and visual hallucinations in people with dementia (if that's what she is diagnosed with). I don't have personal experience with any of them and can't vouch for their efficacy -- but you can at least ask about them when you get her back to a doctor.

Last Dr check-up? Is he an MD? Has she already been diagnosed with dementia? Could be a neurologist or a geriatricians may be more beneficial?

Perhaps a soft baby doll may be comforting to her.

I just said a prayer for you and your mom.

I agree with the comments here about getting her to a doctor who will medicate her. Medications will help keep agitation and panicking in check but it's not going to do anything for her delusions.

Personally, I would put her in a memory care facility and let her be looked after by a trained staff. You don't have to have her living with you and you don't have to be the person who meets her endless needs.

I know she's 90 but as you say her health is good. She could go another 5 or 10 years and it only gets worse. Please ask her doctor about a memory care facility.

Back you go to that doctor with asking HIM/HER for help, or asking for a REFERRAL to someone who can evaluate and medicate for some help. This isn't about bloodwork, but about dementia. If no help can be found then I can't see any remedy but placement. I wish you a lot of luck, but this is serious and your MD isn't addressing it.

If it’s causing her undue mental distress, I’d ask her doctor for something that might help. My dad who has Alz takes Sertraline and a small dose of Seroquel to help him. He does pretty well, but he still may have some delusions. He may say the home health hid his electric razor charging cord and you can’t convince him otherwise. One night he was convinced there was an alligator under the bed. He warned me it was showing its teeth. I got the broom and chased it away and he was satisfied. I think a certain amount of behaviors are to be expected with dementia. It comes down to staying calm and reassuring him things are fine and will be addressed. I don’t focus on trying to convince him he’s wrong, just that things will be resolved.

My mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disease. She knew when she was out of it because she would always tell me "I'm back" and I would say "really? How long have you been gone or what's the last thing you remember?" And she would tell me and the closer to death she got the periods she was out of it grew longer. Regardless my mom was never all the way out of it. The medications they prescribed are horrible and cause the hallucinations. Mom would ask me if I saw that little girl and I would say no but I know she did. On certain occasions I would not give her her meds so she didn't hallucinate but I had to stay close to her because her fall risk was way high without the meds. Whatever you do DO NOT allow her to go under anesthesia make them do a local. Anesthesia amps this disease up 100% and within 6 months she will be gone. Mom will say things over and over and you will answer over and over. Never argue. Never tell her she is wrong. Never challenge her. Never say don't you remember. Never tell her there is nothing there. Never raise your voice. Never roll your eyes. Never laugh at her. Never talk about her like she isn't sitting there in front of you. Never let her see you frustrated. Never let her see you cry. Your job is to make her final stretch as comfortable and as pleasant as possible. At the same time take care of yourself. Reach out to the different organizations to come in and help you. You'd be surprised how an hour or two massage or an hour or two reading a book at Starbucks Coffee Shop watching people will help you regroup. This is something you have never had to do before and hopefully you'll never have to do it again so don't put such a strain on yourself. Treat it kinda like that 3rd or 4th child not the first one. I hope this helps some but given more time I probably would not have put her on the big pharma meds I would have tried the narcotics or the THC route. The stem cell replacement with embryotic cells made her quality of life so much better and I can say I never changed another diaper and she could watch a 2 hour movie and she slept 8 to 10 hours daily and ate like a horse. Anesthesia for UTI killed her within 2 months.

Good Lord, please find a new doctor that knows about dementia and hallucinations. Checking ones blood work has nothing to do with diagnosing dementia.
Did her doctor check your mom for a UTI, as that can cause what you're describing? And that would be a urine test and not blood work.
If a UTI has been ruled out then I would pursue a dementia diagnosis, more specifically Lewy Body dementia as hallucinations are often associated with that.
I wish you well in finding the answers you need.

What was her doctor's conclusion, considering she is having delusions and hallucinations? Did he just send her on her way without any further guidance to a specialist? Didn't recomment medications to address the delusions and hallucinations? You might want to consider changing doctors, maybe to a geriatrician. Usually dementia is diagnosed by discounting all other causes for the symptoms. Hallucinations are not part of most dementias, but they are part of Lewy Body dementia and vascular dementia. Can be caused by the aftereffects of strokes. Is your Mom on any other medications for other issues? If so, is she taking the meds herself? Could she be overmedicating herself? I'm so sorry you're both in this situation. You can contact social services for your county to have them come out and do an assessment for in-home services. If you are not your Mom's assigned PoA and she is beyond having legal capacity to do this, then you can discuss guardianship by a 3rd party legal through the courts. Or, ask the social worker about an Elder Waiver, part of Medicaid that pays for some in-home caregiving aids.

I agree with the others , have the doctor address her anxiety . In the mean time , until you see the doctor , the dollar store has ( off brand foreign ) pregnancy tests . Let her use it if it calms her down .

Let mom’s doctor know the symptoms and behaviors you're seeing. If that doesn’t lead to help, it’s time for a new doctor and more evaluation

Your mother is suffering both delusions and hallucination, both symptoms of psychosis. See if her doctor will prescribe seroquel.