MEHuff, welcome to the forum. When my Mom (at the age of 98) was asking to go visit her parents, I had to use what is called "therapeutic fibs". I told her that her parents were visiting the old county, to which Mom smiled and said "that's nice".
Otherwise, if I had told my Mom that her parents had passed, she would grieve over and over if I gave her that answer each time. I wouldn't want to keep putting her through that, then having the Staff try to calm her down after I left visiting.
Sometimes a little white lie is kindest you gee brother went abroad and us travelling the world we don’t know where he is but he will contact us when he returns
Redirect her attention to something else. My dad passed last year. Mom always looks for him, asks where he is, what he is doing. I feel there is no sense to break her heart day after day by telling her the truth. She will forget 5 minutes later. Then we have to go through it again. Their minds tend to go back to times decades ago. She talks about taking the kids to my gma's to play with their cousins while the adults have coffee. I am 53. That was a long time ago. Lol She will tell me while not realizing I am that little girl all grown up. So it isn't a surprise that she brings up your brother. I'm sure it will continue. Redirect her or simply say he is working. Hope this helps.
Mom is starting to live in the passed. As was said "therapeutic fibs" are allowed and most likely will not upset her. ALZ is awful! Remember that she is not herself that this disease is now taking over her mind. What ever you do you want to keep her at peace and safe and keep you from getting frustrated. I told "therapeutic fibs" all the time up to the day my daddy died. It kept him calm and he didn't get scared about anything. Know that a prayer has been said for you! ((hugs))
If a person has Alzheimer's, they cannot handle this type of "truth." They will hear that their loved-one has died. Then, they will grieve, then, they will forget. Then, they will ask again, hear that their loved one has died, and grieve. Why would you continue to put them through that torture over and over again? They are already suffering with this disease.
Your mom might be starting to see people who already passed away. My mom was crushed when her sister told he that their aunt died a long time ago. Please don't tell her he died.
Whatever will make her feel good. 1. He is on vacation in XXX. He is excited to come back home to see you soon. 2. He is at the grocery store buying xxx for dinner. 3. He went to the park and will be back later. 4. He's getting flowers in the garden. He'll bring them in soon.
Anything that will make her feel good and that he is having a good time.
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Otherwise, if I had told my Mom that her parents had passed, she would grieve over and over if I gave her that answer each time. I wouldn't want to keep putting her through that, then having the Staff try to calm her down after I left visiting.
you gee brother went abroad and us travelling the world
we don’t know where he is but he will contact us when he returns
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Hope this helps.
Laurie
Then change the subject.
They will hear that their loved-one has died. Then, they will grieve, then, they will forget. Then, they will ask again, hear that their loved one has died, and grieve.
Why would you continue to put them through that torture over and over again? They are already suffering with this disease.
1. He is on vacation in XXX. He is excited to come back home to see you soon.
2. He is at the grocery store buying xxx for dinner.
3. He went to the park and will be back later.
4. He's getting flowers in the garden. He'll bring them in soon.
Anything that will make her feel good and that he is having a good time.
Gena / Touch Matters
You cannot continually tell them that someone has died, making them suffer over and over again.
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