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Helpfortwin Asked March 22, 2025

Where to begin? I have been my twin sisters caregiver for 2 years now. Her husband is POA. She and her husband live as hoarders.

She is in the Hospital, going to rehab on Monday for 2 days and then back home to FILTH. Do I just step away?

Bulldog54321 Mar 22, 2025
Yup. Walk away

Grandma1954 Mar 22, 2025
Short answer...YUP step away.
If your sister NEEDS a caregiver and her husband is not able to do what needs to be done you make him aware of that BEFORE she is discharged.
Now if you do not think she is safe at home or if you do not think her husband is able to SAFELY care for her you can express your concerns to the discharge planner but after that back off. the husband is POA so he gets to call the shots.

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AlvaDeer Mar 22, 2025
Yes, you do.
Hoarding is now a DSM-5 diagnosis. She is mentally ill. You are not qualified to care for that nor to address it in any way. She will never be cooperative, nor will he.
Often in life we die as we have lived.
Should her POA pass away then you, if you are next of kin can get her into care with a temporary guardianship. But right now you have none of the control and all of the mess.
This isn't sustainable.

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