Question for Alva, Burnt, Geaton, Margaret, Lealonnie, Daughter, Grandma, Igloo, Isthisreallyreal, and other regular posters.

Answering a common question has value to more than the original poster. Theres a post that is 11 years old asking if it’s ok to hope someone dies, for example, and while that poster has long quit posting it remains a valuable and updated source.

If posters don't respond to questions I ask that require an answer in order to get a decent response, I figure they're not really interested in getting true help for their problem. Sometimes we regulars wind up discussing the issue amongst ourselves w/o any input from the Ops. 🤣

Glad to hear you find the forum helpful! 😊

Glad you’ve found valuable advice here as most all of us have. I’d say many are overwhelmed by their circumstances, some just want validation, a few want others to simply agree with their opinions. All of that is okay. Sometimes people never return and sometimes they return after months of further hardship or mulling it over and are then ready to accept advice. My dad often said ”old age isn’t for sissies” and he was right, this stuff is just hard….and good job coming back to your own question 🤗

While I do appreciate irony, I decided I would come back to thank all of you for responding and sharing your insight. Great group AC! Not just valuable info but therapeutic too. 🙂

I think for me - that a lot of people read but don't post. So maybe when we continue to offer advice in the absence of their response - it is because we hope they see it and it helps.

I wonder this too. Been here for a while. I have brought it to memberscattention that the OP has not responded after we have posted many replies and some long ones. Alva even thanks the ones that participate.

Hi, Kh,
First of all I am going to tag my answer to the admins so they can perhaps move this to discussions? I think it would have a longer, more interesting "life" there.

I personally don't answer after they don't answer my questions.
I try to stop myself from "arguing" with other peoples' responses, but often do fall down that particular rabbit-hole.

When there's no response I cease believing they really exist at all. Others suggest they sought out and answer, then were too busy to respond at all. That doesn't sound like normal "human nature to me". At the point there's no response I cease to believe they even exist. Moreover, I would guess that approximately 50% of our OPs never return to respond to advice or answer questions.

I have now become much more blunt and brief in answers to questions that are ludicrous on the face of them. Sometimes the posts consist of one word, such as yesterday's "Kaiser". And most posters are new. And most never return again.

I pretty much do the Forum because I personally enjoy it. It's an hour out of my day. It's me, my coffee cup and my foster pup beside me, just banging away on the laptop a bit. After all, the old man never listens to me anymore, anyway, hee hee.
After so long I have got used to the "types".

There have been times in the past I have suggested that some of our posts are written by some A.I. machine not yet taught to come back with responses to keep it "interesting".
I get shot down every time when I suggest such things.
Along with the "It's-a-full-moon" my theory probably doesn't hold water, but given the level of some few questions, it is clear that A.I. could walk in and post just about anything.
I find our admins VERY responsive to our reports, but think there is little oversite in what gets posted on the forum itself. I guess that's just an automatic privilege. Or as admins have told us in the past, they give a lot of latitude unless they suspect something is "wrong".

Interesting question. If you can't find it, and it it gets moved, I bet you'll find it in discussions.

Some people come here with one specific question and they have no desire for anything other than to poll the members for their opinions, once they have that they move on.

I answer because others that have not yet posted a question may have a question just like the one someone else posted. Our answers might be just what someone needs to hear/read at the time.

What is very helpful though is to fill out information in the profile. We get some information from that as well as a reply, response to an answer.

I do really like "updates" indicating if any or all of the suggestions helped or if anything else has happened. Updates can add more info leading to better responses.

I don't participate on this forum with many expectations from OPs. I know firsthand the chaos that can be happening in their lives as their LOs devolve with medical or cognitive (or both) problems. Many adult children or grandchildren are completely blindsided by how far gone their LOs are, or a crisis occurs and they find out there's nothing in place that's helpful, or there's no money, etc. The family then has to learn about dementia, legal authority, Medicare (if they're too young to be on it themselves). the eye-watering cost of medical and other care, managing finances that are in total disarray, etc. It's like drinking from a firehose. Sometimes I imagine the OPs still have to run their own lives while trying to prop up or orbit around their LOs: working FT, kids in school, other obligations... they are running on full steam. I think many people aren't that internet savvy and actually cannot find their way back to the forum, or don't know how to post a response. Sometimes I circle back to add more info that I think will help them that I didn't think about in the first post. I think that sometimes the OPs are reading the responses but don't have the time or energy to update or acknowledge the postings. Sometimes I don't check the date of their original post to see that many weeks or months have passed. Once one posts, if you don't edit it withing 15-ish minutes it becomes permanent. I'm so glad that you have been helped by this forum. I wish I had found it back in 2014 when both my in-laws were falling apart at the same time. Everything I learned back then I learned the hard way while I was working FT running a family business with 3 young kids in school and my own Mom to help plus 2 elderly Aunts out of state. I have a lot of empathy for people who stagger onto this forum, but no expectations.