I was stunned to see my husband’s live-in caregiver opening my dresser drawer. He had put some of my husband things in there.

I am surprised that he has lived with you two years and you feel so uncomfortable about him. Can you explain that a little bit more for me?

As to what places are open for storage by your caretaker, how is it that hasn't been fully discussed with a tour of the premises?
Is there adequate storage for him to use otherwise?

It is very difficult to get any idea what is happening here and why it makes you so concerned without a bit more explanation.
I do welcome you to the forum, and wish you the best.

You should invest in cameras if you don’t have them already. And I would never be comfortable with a strange man living in my home caregiver or not never!! Was that your preference?

You told him now not to use the dresser or when he first started. After two years he should know what he can and can't do. You should not feel uncomfortable in your own home. You need to remember this is a boss/employee relationship. Just tell him since you saw him in your drawer that you need to remind him that is your dresser and to please not use it.

My husband has his own dresser and I have mine. Very easy to know who is whose.

Also, he's a guy, so... not paying attention to those details.

This is one of the many things "we" deal with when we have caregivers come into the house either hourly or live in.
Our privacy is being "invaded" and that is a tough concept to accept.
If this person has been with you for 2 years he may be feeling a bit "comfortable" and may need an evaluation. Just like most employers give yearly reviews it might be good to sit down and discuss the job.
It is good to do this since in the 2 years his tasks have changed. Declines happen and we all have to adjust to new normals.
So during your sit down with him discuss areas that are "off limits" and make sure that he understands what your expectations are.
And it is a good time to discuss what he can and can't do as your husband continues to decline.

The best thing would be to make the boundaries as simple and clear as possible. For instance, if you have the ability to make 1 room strictly off limits, then you can put all sensitive paperwork, medications, clothing, etc in it andmaybe even lock it, or just tell him to never go into that room for any reason. It becomes complicated when he has to remember details, like: you can go into this room, but not this drawer on this side, etc. This also prevents someone from pretending to "forget" the boundaries and stoop (and I'm implying this is what the aid was doing). Or, you can put a sign on certain drawers that say Private. That being said, I also agree that a live-in is not an optimal solution. I would never do it.

Why don't you talk to him about it? Tell him that he is not to open your dresser drawers. If there's a problem with not enough storage for your husband's things in his dresser, the caregiver needs to come and tell you. Or you can put your husband's things away.

Personally, I don't like the idea of a live-in caregiver at a house. Round the clock care is one thing, but not someone living in the house. I was a caregiver for 25 years and am now in the business of it. I never think it's a good idea to let a hired caregiver make a client's home their legal address. I always think it's best to hire more than one person.

I agree with you that the caregiver over-stepped boundaries. Imagine what he goes through when you're not home. I hope you use hidden cameras in your house. If you don't, you should.

From what you have written it sounds innocent enough. Boundaries are things that have to be articulated because people aren't mind readers, but you've told him now so any future incursions into your space would be breaking boundaries/trust, in my opinion this was not.