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KDay73 Asked November 2024

Alz/dem getting kicked out of nursing home. What can we do?

My dad is in end stages of Alz with Dementia. His nursing home closed down, so we found him a new one. First few weeks all was well. Now they are saying we need to pick him up now because he has hurt people. When we question facts change. We are certain they are not being truthful. They are threatening to send him to the ER and not letting him come back. They tried to send him to a psych ward, but they refused saying he has no behavior issues aside from dementia. He is fine and not combative when we are there (let me say, he does not know who we are). His home said one of our family members has to stay with him 24/7 and care for him or else they will send him to the ER. What can I do? Who can I call to stop this right now? We don't have the ability to care for him. I think this is because of his Medicare

AlvaDeer Nov 2024
Let them send Dad to the ER. Let the ER admit, and evaluate even if this is done in psyc ward. Let them refuse to take him back. And most of all, most crucially, let them refuse to take him back and when they do turn him over to the Social Workers.
Let this be their problem.
Let the state take on guardianship if they must and do not take on any guardianship if you are not already the POA.
You cannot manage this.
You will NEVER find him placement with the current history.
So next time they call you tell them exactly this:

"You do what you feel you must do for my Dad's well being; if he is sent to ER by ambulance and EMS, then let me know".

Keep this off your place. Social workers are paid to do placement. This isn't your job and it is beyond your skills.
I am so very sorry. This is the way now of aging in our country. We live too long. I say that at 82, and am ready to go before these losses rob me of everything. Again. I am so very sorry.
BioMom41 Dec 2024
If she is already the POA, how does one proceed? Will Social Workers still be inclined to place?
olddude Nov 2024
Even if they are lying, you really don't want him staying someplace where the nursing staff don't want him around. I would look for another nursing home that deals with dementia.

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funkygrandma59 Nov 2024
Why is your dad in a "nursing home" and not a memory care facility?
Doesn't that make more sense to you, as they are used to dealing with all kinds of different issues that those with broken brains and will better be able to handle him?
I would find him a nice memory care facility and then bring hospice on board if he is in end stages dementia, as hospice will keep him comfortable and pain free and they will also be extra sets of eyes on him for you.
Best wishes in finding the right place for your dad.
Korky777 Dec 2024
I know you mean well, but it's not always that easy. Some people - myself included - live in areas where an SNF is the only option. In my situation, the nearest memory care facility is over 2 hours away, and the waiting list is extremely long. Even the nearest SNF is a 60-minute round trip. In small towns or rural areas, you often don't have a choice.
Grandma1954 Nov 2024
It may be difficult to find a place that will accept him. As soon as any other facility contacts the one he currently is in and if they mention that they are having him leave due to violence the other facility will probably not accept him.
Is dad on Hospice? If so the Hospice Team may be able to find other placement for him. OR he may be admitted to the In patient Unit for "Symptom management". From there they may be able to adjust meds to appease the facility.
I do agree with Olddude..do you really want him someplace where the staff does not want him for whatever reason.

When you say this might be due to his Medicare do you mean Medicare or Medicaid? BIG difference.

KNance72 Nov 2024
You Need a memory care unit

Jenny10 Dec 2024
Speak to his doctor
they obviously can’t cope with someone attacking people but I’m sure he’s not the first and there must be other options
sounds like his doctor needs to provide medication
/get him
he checked out
Maybe the aggressive behaviour is a by product of some health issue he has
maybe he’s in pain somewhere
Between the doctor and care people they should be able to provide a solution for you - use them

cxmoody Nov 2024
Also, is he under Hospice Care? Facilities are more likely to keep someone if Hospice is involved.

Before my mother graduated from Hospice, they were really good about getting her anxiety/violence under control.

Cklaney2013 Dec 2024
That is a very unique situations and it seems that experienced LCSW members know how to navigate the system. Thanks for sharing since my family had a similar concept.

Sharon25 Dec 2024
I would put in a video camera and say you want video evidence of this since their facts of this story seems to change.

Llamalover47 Dec 2024
KDay73: He requires memory care placement.

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