How do I help my dad when he refuses the help offered?

i have a relative who did the same thing with same disease. She never took any kind of pain, anxiety or other pills and her fear was sleeping her life away. From time to time was able to get her to take antianxiety meds and it made such a difference. As long as he decides he does not want to take meds that would help, there is little you can do. You can remind him each time he complains of pain that there are meds to help....eventually he may try some.

LancasterK26: Discuss this with Hospice.

I’m very sorry to see your dad suffering so much pain but pray for his comfort. Tell his doctor.

Discuss with Hospice.
Some people are afraid of pain relievers as they have the fear that they will become addicted.
The body processes and uses pain relievers differently when it they are necessary for pain relief than if used "recreationally".
Hospice can explain this.
Maybe even suggest that the Hospice nurse administer a small dose and remain there with dad so that if there are any complications he is comfortable knowing that a medical person is there that can help him. (Nothing will happen, this would be for his peace of mind)

Discuss this with Hospice.
This is what they are there for.
I am so very sorry for all involved.

It might help if you or hospice can talk to him about pain and what is likely to happen. It’s possible that he thinks if he takes something for pain now, he’ll get ‘acclimatised’ to it and it won’t work when he really needs it later on. Or he may think that if he accepts it, he will be given so much that it will stop his brain working and he won’t be ‘him’ any more.

I have quite a lot of back pain and I have an unlimited script for Codeine. I try to limit what I take because it does make me a bit dozy, plus I certainly don’t want to get addicted either. I like to stay in control of what’s going on with my body. I’m 77, considering older than your poor Dad, so I can imagine that he wants to stay in charge of his body as long as he can.

Perhaps you could start by telling him what I find myself, and asking him if it rings any bells with him. Tell him to treat 'help' as a servant, not a master. Please give him (and you) my love, Margaret