Do not become friends POA. If she has family, time for them to step up to the plate. They don't have to physically care for her but they can have her placed. If no family, then call APS and report a vulnerable adult. They can find services for her. Even Office of Aging can help.
At 89 and now needing a caregiver, even if she qualified for a Waiver program through Medicaid, it would not provide enough care coverage and there'd be management and communication issues. You are wonderful for trying to help your friend, but she has to think of the "long game" now: she is in active decline (is it just physical? Or also cognitively?). What she needs first and foremost is a PoA to legally be able to manage her affairs and make decisions in her own best interests. If she doesn't have one, or refuses to assign one, please let her know that (short of her passing away suddently from a medical incident) the county will eventually need to be involved and she will get a court-appointed legal guardian who will then do what a PoA would have been doing. If she has a home, honestly it would probably be a good idea to consider selling it and transitioning herself into a good facility that has a continuum of care and accepts Medicaid. She will at least be in a community of others, have oversight by professionals, have social outlets and activities, maybe transportation, and on-site medical help. It is not very realistic for her expect others to orbit around her as her care needs increase. At some point you well-meaning people will be overwhelmed by her needs (or frustrated due to her cognitive/memory problems and no legal way to help her). Does she have no family at all? Even if they're not local...? If you are becoming concerned about her safety, health or living conditions, please don't hesitate to report her to APS so she gets on their radar as a vulnerable adult. This is the most concrete way to help her. It may not be what she wants, but it may be what she needs.
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