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compass19 Asked April 2024

How are you handling the connections you've made with other dementia caregivers once your loved one dies?

My husband recently died and I am left wondering how long I continue to attend caregiver support groups.


On the one hand, I feel very connected to these people I've met over time and shared with, etc., but I also have that urge to run from everything dementia-related and never look back. But at this lonely time, I feel I would miss them, and they've been so caring in response to my loss.


However, as in many caregiver groups, I have never really understood those whose loved ones are long gone and they continue to attend. Yes, on occasion, they offer something useful, but really, it's not quite as valuable as when you are living with it.


Any perspectives/experiences on this would be appreciated.

Fawnby Apr 2024
It’s not that you’re going to be drummed out of the group. If you wish to sequence from caregiver to caregiver emeritus, gradually taper off group meetings and ask individuals to go to lunch so you can build individual friendships with them.

AlvaDeer Apr 2024
Oh, do keep going so long as it is a comfort to you and you can help others. DO!
My brother died in 2020. When I came to this particular Forum I had just assumed being his POA and the Trustee of his Trust and I was one fish out of water gasping for air. I was honeslty so anxious and so terrified, and those here before me were SUCH a help and comfort. Yes, there was knowledge but what was more important was there was comfort. There were others with guestions and struggling. I felt so part of community and supported.

D. is gone a long time now. But I love being a part of AC and I am STILL LEARNING here.

When we need comfort we should have wonderful safe places to seek it.
When we can give any comfort we should try to do that.
This is just an individual question for you and within your own group, but I sure hope you will do just as you wish. Good luck!

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