Feeling frustrated as the only caregiver in our house for both dad and partmer. I'm tired of the arguments with grown step-daughter who refuses to help.
I take care of both partner and dad . What am I to do?
When someone says partner, I assume there is no marriage. How long have you been with partner. Dad meaning your Dad or partner. Step-daughter (partners daughter) does she live with you.
Just an opinion, if Dad is your Dad I think I would just take him and leave. Partner has his daughter. If Dad is partners Dad, I would just leave. I have no idea how you can put up with this and now ur health is involved.
Reading your question and your profile, what stands out is that you are 67, your health is suffering, you are worn out, and you ‘are starting to fall and get hurt myself’.
You are propping up not just your father, but also your partner and your step-daughter. They have arguments with you all the time. What are the arguments about? Do they think that F should go into Assisted Living, instead of exhausting you? Why are you providing services (probably cooking, cleaning and accommodation) to your step-daughter ‘who does nothing’?
What happens if your health fails? Will your partner and sD take over your work? Probably not! What is the point of waiting for your health to fail before you look at other ways to help the situation? Some people need the ‘justification’ of no alternative before they are willing to quit an impossible task. The end result is the same, but you health has been ruined in the meantime.
Tell us more. Your partner first: Are you two married? How long have you been together? How old are you, and how old is partner? What is the physical and mental difficulties that dictate your partner needs you to be his caregiver? How old is the partner's daughter and does she live with you.
Now on to Dad: Does Dad live with you? You say in profile Dad is 87 and mobility is limited. How limited is it? How is his mental capacity? It seems he lives with you. Why does he live with you and how long has that been the case?
You say you are worn out and that you yourself are now "falling" (in your profile). Why are you falling? Have you been to your doctor about these falls? What has your doctor said about these falls?
Who works? Who supports this family, or rather how is it financially supported?
Without a good deal more information we cannot tell how you might get some help, nor what help you want to have or exactly WHAT you need help WITH.
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Just an opinion, if Dad is your Dad I think I would just take him and leave. Partner has his daughter. If Dad is partners Dad, I would just leave. I have no idea how you can put up with this and now ur health is involved.
What state do you live in?
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You are propping up not just your father, but also your partner and your step-daughter. They have arguments with you all the time. What are the arguments about? Do they think that F should go into Assisted Living, instead of exhausting you? Why are you providing services (probably cooking, cleaning and accommodation) to your step-daughter ‘who does nothing’?
What happens if your health fails? Will your partner and sD take over your work? Probably not! What is the point of waiting for your health to fail before you look at other ways to help the situation? Some people need the ‘justification’ of no alternative before they are willing to quit an impossible task. The end result is the same, but you health has been ruined in the meantime.
Is this one genuine way to look at the situation?
Are you two married?
How long have you been together?
How old are you, and how old is partner?
What is the physical and mental difficulties that dictate your partner needs you to be his caregiver?
How old is the partner's daughter and does she live with you.
Now on to Dad:
Does Dad live with you?
You say in profile Dad is 87 and mobility is limited. How limited is it? How is his mental capacity? It seems he lives with you. Why does he live with you and how long has that been the case?
You say you are worn out and that you yourself are now "falling" (in your profile). Why are you falling? Have you been to your doctor about these falls? What has your doctor said about these falls?
Who works? Who supports this family, or rather how is it financially supported?
Without a good deal more information we cannot tell how you might get some help, nor what help you want to have or exactly WHAT you need help WITH.