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XenaJada Asked April 2023

Lost my daddy. Any advice on managing the grief?

I lost my daddy to CHF and renal failure this morning. He had refused dialysis, Family supported this decision.


How do i handle the grief?


I do not live near them, yet I am lost And heartbroken.

AlvaDeer Apr 2023
For me the only way to handle grief is to celebrate the life, the goodness, the happy luck to have had someone I cared about. The relief in knowing that there would be no suffering for that person I loved. The fact that 100 of 1,000s of people came before us and will keep coming when we are gone.

If you are like me your Dad will always be with you in your heart. I am so sorry Xena, but the only way out of grief is right through it. I think only time helps.

You will feel "lost" for a while, as you say. It is a shock. It is something you can't imagine until you are IN it. Your tears are the price of so much love. Just remember also the joy.

Grandma1954 Apr 2023
((hugs))

Of course you are lost and heartbroken.
There is a song I have been hearing lately.
How Do I say Goodbye.
In part it says:
So how do I say goodbye
To someone who's been with me for my whole damn life?
You gave me my name and the color of your eyes
I see your face when I look at mine
So how do I, how do I, how do I say goodbye?

the song is by Dean Lewis.
Give it a listen. (I just watched the video😭)

The heartbreak will slowly feel better.
the ache will remain sharp at times but dull over time just as wounds are supposed to heal.

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patpaul Apr 2023
Heartbroken is natural. My condolences on your loss,

lealonnie1 Apr 2023
My deepest condolences XenaJada. Hugs

Countrymouse Apr 2023
I'm so sorry, Xena.

Your daddy was wise in his decision. It's still a shock even when it's expected, but now he's at peace and there is nothing more to fear for him.

I'm not sure you're supposed to be able to handle the grief, not at first. Wishing you comfort.

AlvaDeer Apr 2023
The only real answer to grief is time. Allow yourself to feel the loss but be certain to celebrate the good memories to help. Grief has to be endured. It is the cost of loving. I am so very sorry for your loss.

JoAnn29 Apr 2023
So sorry for your loss.

Daughterof1930 Apr 2023
I’m so sorry. I also lost my dad to CHF and know what an insidious disease process it is. As to grief, it’s different for us all. The communities of GriefShare have been a huge help to many, you may want to look one up in your area and attend. I’ve found it important to let the tears flow when they come and also focus on memories of happy times with my dad. You’re very correct, we do feel heartbroken when a beloved daddy passes, I also still often say daddy and always will. I wish you healing and peace

cwillie Apr 2023
I'm sorry for your loss.

gladimhere Apr 2023
I am so sorry for your loss.

Fawnby Apr 2023
Xena, my sincerest sympathy. I’m so sorry.

Catskie62 Apr 2023
Xena my heart goes out to you and your family. My daddy passed from CHF as well. It's difficult losing a parent and please know you're in my thoughts 🙏

Geaton777 Apr 2023
I'm grieved about your painful loss. May you receive peace in your heart and be comforted by loving memories. (((hugs XenaJada)))

BarbBrooklyn Apr 2023
Xena (((hugs)))) and sincere condolences on the loss of your dear dad.

Between the loss of your FIL and your mom's cancer dx, you've just had too much thrown at you recently.

Be very kind to yourself and seek out support where you can.

SnoopyLove Apr 2023
I am so sorry, XenaJada. This loss is so new and raw. I hope you will take care of yourself as you grieve the loss of your beloved father.

Blessings and peace to you.

NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. I understand that he didn’t want dialysis if he was very old.

Everyone grieves in their own way. Your dad just died today, so you need time to process it. Take time to grieve. Don’t suppress your emotions.

You are missing your dad. You know that you will never see him or be able to speak to him again. Your feelings are normal.

Some people don’t feel like it’s real and it takes a while before it sinks in.

Others find comfort that they are no longer suffering and they feel relief.

Some people are angry and they feel that the death could have been prevented somehow.

I don’t know exactly what you are dealing with at the moment. I wish you peace as you continue on with your grieving journey.

How old was your father. Is your mom still living?

In time you will remember the good times that you had with him and be more at peace.
XenaJada Apr 2023
He was 89 and 6 mo

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