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Bekind215 Asked January 2023

What are your thoughts on taking assisted living residents back to visit their home?

My parents just entered assisted living. What are your thoughts on taking them back to visit their long time home?

Isthisrealyreal Jan 2023
Take em to a nice lunch or go have it with them at the facility.

Being reminded of what you have lost is hard, don't do it.

This is their home now, help them adjust and accept that by leaving the past right where it is.

lealonnie1 Jan 2023
Not a great idea, especially with dementia and a history of mental illness going on with mom. More cons thans pros to such a thing, imo. What if she won't leave the family home and refuses to go back to AL, then what?

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cwillie Jan 2023
When my mom's health declined I moved back into the farm where I grew up to help, and when it became clear something needed to change I sold up and we moved to a more accessible home in a nearby town. Even though I'm happy that a new family has moved in and are slowly bringing things up to the 21st century I don't really want to even drive by let alone go back (the new owners offered). Some things are just too emotionally difficult...but that's just me.

AnnReid Jan 2023
In the whole time I took care of my mother, this was the only mistake I made that continues to bother me, many years after her death.

I did it once, and after seeing the joy she felt, that I could never give back to her, I know I should NEVER have done it, not even once.

BarbBrooklyn Jan 2023
If your mother is manipulative and argues over everything (as per your profile) it seems like a bad idea.

Fawnby Jan 2023
Never have I ever heard that this is a good idea. But I have heard that it’s a bad one.

JoAnn29 Jan 2023
I agree, not a good idea. They just entered an AL and need to acclimate to it. I don't see where taking them home would be a good idea. The management at the AL will probably agree with us. To be honest, its never a good idea. What happens if you get them there and they refuse to go back to the AL. With Dementia, it just becomes too confusing for them.

I also suggest that you don't take them back when you start to clean out the house. Just DO IT. What they have at the AL is all they need. Eventually it will be LTC and they will be taking very few things with them. Really almost nothing but their clothes. Sell what you can of their household goods and give the rest away. And sell the house. My Moms was such an albatross. Money I could have used to offset the cost of her care, went to paying taxes and upkeep on the house. I so wish I had gotten her to sell after Dad died and gone into a nice apartment.

LoopyLoo Jan 2023
Don’t do it!

ZippyZee Jan 2023
It’s showing a person dying of thirst in a desert that you have water but won’t give it to them.

MeDolly Jan 2023
Would not ever consider doing this, focus on their new home, their new life. Leave the past where it belongs, in the past.

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