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Katieann66 Asked December 2022

IDK how to even title this. Any advice?

I had been helping a friend's wife recover from a fall backwards down 3stairs. It took 3 days before she would go to ER. She fractured her L4 (?) and bruised her hip. She is 69 but already led a sedentary life because she has COPD. This friend, in the short time I've known him has been kind and fair and has helped me financially ($40 here $20 there) in a bind but I've always made sure I paid him back. With that, I was not working but looking for a job, so I jumped head first into helping with her. Then he found me a new place to live so I would be closer, paying half my rent. My rent is $1,000 so obviously he paid $500. Within 18 days, I found myself working long hours almost everyday. I racked up 123 hours in that time period. During this time he began feeling comfortable yelling and snapping at me. She is a miserable person on a daily basis. I had NO time for myself, let alone the energy to look for a job so I could be able to pay my rent and have $ for food, etc. He was unapproachable in the am and I was too exhausted at end of the day. I finally had to tell him I needed a morning off the next day and he exploded. He sent message my life was small compared to his and my "intelligence level was too low to live in the place he found me and I need to move". I don't even know if this is the right forum for this. But I am so upset. NOW he never has given me one dime, and when this happened it gave me 16 days til $1,000 is due. I guess my question is do I have any recourse to get him to reimburse me for the caregiving hours or is it a wash? Chalk it up to lesson learned? Has anyone else all of a sudden found themselves in a caregiver position when that wasn't the plan at all?? It IS My fault for not setting boundaries... I think I just answered my own question.....

Katieann66 Dec 2022
Maybe I am just venting.... I have had caregiving jobs before (actually worked at Betty Ford with incoming patients). I was compensated fairly. I guess I'm wondering if most people are compensated fairly or do people feel that they are underpaid?

MargaretMcKen Dec 2022
“Gave” is a gift that you ought to say thank-you for. “Wages” are earned, and thanks for getting paid is simply politeness.

Probably the lesson is to get the details clear in everyone’s mind, and write it down. The best memory is probably that he thought he was doing you a favor, and still has no idea how it lived for you. Bummer!

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SnoopyLove Dec 2022
Sorry this happened, Katieann. It seems like both husband and wife have a lot of issues and it is probably best to move on from this situation as soon as you can. Chalk it up to lessons learned: beware of people without boundaries. And of course no good deed goes unpunished, as they say.

Do you have an exit plan?

Isthisrealyreal Dec 2022
He paid 500.00 towards your rent, how can you say he never gave you a dime?

Best of luck.
Katieann66 Dec 2022
I meant AFTER paying the $500. I calculated my hours (I had to sit with her at hospital then help her at home when she was released from hospital). I averaged 52 hours a week with one day to myself. If I "work" a month for $500, that equals @ $2.40 an hour... Right?! I'm not being facetious I'm just want to make sure I'm doing the math correctly

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