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VetCareGiver Asked August 2022

How to determine living expenses when parents move in with you?

Good afternoon everyone.


Many of us give up our careers in order to take care of our loved ones. I have both of my parents with me. Dad needs around-the-clock care due to Parkinson’s, mom also needs assistance with cooking, cleaning, meals, bathing and taking to appointments. They live with me in my home.


I spoke to our attorney for a caregiver contract. The money my dad has always helped with by his choice and I don’t want it to look as if he is gifting it. It really does contribute to living expenses.


The going rate for a shared home in my area for a room and shared bathroom with other roommate on the low end is $800-$1,200 per month. Plus a portion of utilities. This is for one person. For him and my mom to get a decent 1 bedroom apartment with no utilities included would be low end $1,800-$2,400 per month. Then they would have utilities on top, plus expenses of caregiver etc. We all know a skilled nursing facility would cost $5k-$8k each per month.


I added up the utilities, mortgage etc. My dad was living with us when we bought our home. So we did not upgrade or anything. He has always had the largest room etc.


How do you figure out the groceries and also hourly rate? Low end caregiver is $15.00 per hour. For helping clean, cook, run errands, go to appointments with them, laundry and basic assistance with showers. Looks like mileage going rate is .64 cents per mile to go to appointments etc. Someone always has to be with my dad, due to the Parkinson’s.


I’ve been with dad 15 yrs forgoing my own retirement plan etc. So I want to get something in writing for living expenses, and hourly wage. This way I can pay into social security and Medicare and also protect them in case they ever need to go to a Nursing home it doesn’t look like they were gifting their money away.


They have no assets. My mom was a gambler and basically lost their home, vehicles etc. No other siblings for inheritance.


Dad is a disabled vet, gets his VA Disability, his SS, and a small work pension. My mom gets a low SS check.


I figured $15 per hour. $1,200 towards rent, utilities, and $800 for groceries. I’m constantly washing laundry, due to both being incontinent. They have cable and cell phones which are included in that. We don’t watch the TV.


I am a Nurse, no longer in the field, but hourly wage for home health aides (not nurses) thru agency are $30 per hour.

Llamalover47 Aug 2022
VetCareGiver: Isthisrealyreal provides accurate advice in regard to social security and Medicare.

Frebrowser Aug 2022
Rent: market rate for 2 people sharing a room in a shared house. 1,200 sounds fine. (Proportion of market rent of home with adjustment for room size would be OK, but proportion of mortgage not so much — paid off or negative equity home isn’t a tenant’s business, if you try it anyway include taxes, insurance, maintenance & repairs)

Caregiving contract: market rate, but hours at not insane levels. It is not realistic to really work 24/365 for overtime rates, a reasonable care manager would bring in more help. Set yourself an expectation for on the clock hours and see how it goes — like maximum 60 hours a week: two 4 hour shifts a day, plus 4 hours as needed. Employer parent pays payroll taxes and payroll service to calculate and submit them; you pay income tax and your share of SS and Medicare withholding. Your future SS income should reflect your earnings. I’d increase the hourly rate, but keep the hours under control.

Utilities & Groceries: proportion of actual expense. If there are 3 people living in the home, they pay 2/3 of electric, water, garbage & sewer, etc. Individuals pay for unshared items worth bothering to track: Depends, Ensure, special laundry soap, alcohol, cable, cell phone, …
VetCareGiver Aug 2022
Yes that living expense rate is their portion of all utilities, cell phone, trash is automatically included in our property taxes. We still owe on our home it isn’t paid off fully. The taxes rise every single year due to it being a highly sought after area.

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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2022
If you are looking for paying into your social security and Medicare then you need to have them pay you for care, otherwise, it is just rental income, if you charge them anything besides share of costs, as grandma described below.

I would charge them share of costs, this is NOT considered income to you.

Then charge for your time, for everything you do. You get mileage and time for appointments. Hourly rate for laundry, cleaning, cooking, care. If you provide nursing care, charge extra for that.

They should be buying and paying separately for all of their personal products, like diapers, laundry detergent, chux, etc.

Remember they will need enough money at the end of each month to match social security and Medicare contribution, unless you are going to file as a 1099 contractor. If you choose this route, spend the money on a business license, a sole proprietor dba. This will make it easier if they ever have to get Medicaid.

Oh, typically two people aren't double, it's like 150-175% of the single rate, because the care isn't really doubled.

You are a very brave lady taking on two parents.
VetCareGiver Aug 2022
Thank You. I have support with my adult kids, and my husband. Dad is everyone’s world. My mom is completely opposite then my dad personality wise. So I’m taking it one day at a time. She moved with us at the end of June. My brother went into a nursing home, she can’t live by herself.
Grandma1954 Aug 2022
Call a few agencies in your area and ask what they charge that will give you a good idea in your area. That is if you are doing "caregiving" and if you are caring for both of them it would be double what the hourly cost would be for 1.
As for other things.
If there are going to be just the 4 adults in the house ALL expenses Mortgage, utilities, insurance, gad, electric, garbage, water, food, cable, newspaper...all gets divided by 4. If you and your husband have 2 children living in the house then expenses get divided by 6. And in this case your parents would pay you just their portion.
Check with the VA they do provide Home Health Aides a set number of hours per month.
And the VA does pay family to be caregivers. Check that out with the VA or talk to a VA social Worker or contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission and see what else he might qualify for. Criteria is changing all the time with increasing benefits. This is particularly true for Vietnam era Veterans.
VetCareGiver Aug 2022
Thank You he is a VietNam Veteran

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