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Squid62 Asked July 2022

Memory care and assisted living requiring financial co-sign. Any advice?

Hi all - Last year we moved my mom into MC, and then this year into a different facility where at least for now, they will accept her as an AL resident as long as she has a Wanderguard bracelet. We did this because the new facility has a big fenced backyard that is safe for her and her small dog, and she has more opportunities to be “mainstreamed” into activities. She has an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, but still is fairly functional with supervision. My question is about the financial contracts in both places. Both required me to sign paperwork saying I will be responsible if she cannot pay her bills. This really worries me. Right now she has resources to last about five more years at the current rate. But if costs go up, that could change. Also, her combined pension and social security are way more than Medicaid allows but much less than MC costs. So it seems she could fall into a “donut hole” where she can’t get assistance and can’t pay full freight. And then I am concerned my husband and I would be held liable for more than we can afford in retirement. How have others dealt with this? Have you ended up having to pay the facility bills while trying to get a Medicaid approval, or maybe never getting one? I am scared of having to factor this into our own retirement planning, as we cannot really pay for three people.

JoAnn29 Jul 2022
I am in NJ and I was not asked to co-sign.

cxmoody Jul 2022
I’m in Central Florida.

My mother’s MC didn’t ask us to sign anything. Nor would we have signed, if they did.

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Squid62 Jul 2022
Thanks all and how are you finding facilities that do not require this? We are in a suburb of DC and it seemed like the industry standard. Thankfully we have not had to pay anything yet ourselves as Mom’s income and savings are covering costs so far. Were you asked to sign and declined, or were you just never asked?
BarbBrooklyn Jul 2022
Squid, you need to find out if MC and/or AL are eligible for Medicaid waivers in your state. If your state's Medicaid program doesn't allow for payments to AL or MC, then none of the facilities in that state will take Medicaid.

I placed anything financial that needed to be signed in front of my mom to sign. Otherwise, big brother POA signed "Joe Blow, in his capacity as POA for Jane Blow".

We were totally transparent with the discharge planners at the hospital and with the NH about how much money mom had.
MeDolly Jul 2022
OMG, never, never cosign, bad move. You will be on the hook unless you move her somewhere else and I would shop around like now, find a place that costs less.

Just moved my step-mother, saved $1,800 a month, adds a few years to pay for her home.

Harsh but that is the reality of the situation. She could live a very long time, trust me on this my mother is 97.

AlvaDeer Jul 2022
Co-signing? ABSOLUTELY NOT! When my brother went into assisted living he signed or I signed as his POA. When the money is gone he would have been asked to move on (he died before that could happen).
If you give your money to MC that is thousands and thousands a month. What will happen when you are older and need your own savings.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
If they wish to know the assets then let them know. As my bro and I said to the facility "You are looking at about a million on the hoof". They can ask the elder leave or be moved when the money has run dry, but they cannot/should not ask others to pay. So ABSOLUTELY not, and this is nothing I have ever heard of. Your Mom's assets hold to take care of her while they last. At that point she would need to apply for medicaid.
NO to cosigning. Full stop, period and end of sentence.

BarbBrooklyn Jul 2022
We selected a facility that would allow my mom to stay there as a Medicaid patient after 2 years of private pay.

Will this facility accept Medicaid when mom runs out of money? Most eldercare attorneys or Medicaid planners can give you a good timeliness of when to apply ( like, when their down to three month's worth of funds).

BUT you have to make sure that this facility is one that will accept Medicaid when the time comes. Otherwise you are going to need to move her to a NH when she's out of funds.

I would never sign something that made me financially responsible for an elder's care costs.

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