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Hopey1969 Asked July 2022

Palliative Care for my father. Any advice?

I need referrals to a good Palliative Care full resource center. Share your experience if you’ve used them.


I care for my father in my home who is 74 and has stage 4 lung cancer . He is going to begin chemo and I’m freaking out. I live in Granada Hills, Ca. Please help!

AlvaDeer Jul 2022
FunkyGrandma is correct. Go through your Dad's own MD. If you are POA you can attend with your Dad and make decisions there and then go to the Palliative care MD. I do need to let you know that this care isn't always easy to find. I was shcoked to learn that Desert Regional, a HUGE teaching hospital in Palm Springs, had no Palliative care MDs or choices. That was several years ago; I hope it isn't the case today. The Resident I talked to about this told me she was shocked as well as that was the Specialty she was in training for. It is pretty appalling to learn. You can't possibly be reaching out to all entities that might provide this care to your Dad, so go through his own providers now.
I am wishing you both the best.

Midkid58 Jul 2022
Try not to freak out.

It's HIS cancer and he will have to deal with it--you being upset won't help. (This said as a cancer survivor).

Make sure that you are listed as his primary contact so you can talk to his drs.

And I agree that if he is choosing chemo for his cancer TX, he might not qualify for palliative care, per se, but may qualify for some kind of pain management. I know what I was 'offered'--I had to ask for most things, but chemo is done in the hospital and usually the patient goes home. Not always, it's different for each person. I never even had nausea bad enough to throw up, and they gave me anti-emetics to control the nausea and I never took one. Pain pills, yes, and anti anxiety meds. Sleeping pills too.

Just provide good meals and let him rest. I got malnourished b/c I didn't accept any outside care--I shouldn't have been so 'brave'. My DH was unable to handle my bald head and endless fatigue and he kind of checked out, emotionally. DON'T DO THAT!

Just be there for him, provide a calm and peaceful environment. Have faith that the chemo will give him many more years of life.
Hopey1969 Jul 2022
Great advice!!!!! Thank you!!!!!

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PeggySue2020 Jul 2022
Palliative care, ie pain relief, is part of cancer care.

funkygrandma59 Jul 2022
Your father's doctor or medical provider should be able to give you the information that you need to get your father the help he needs.
But being that your father is wanting chemo for his cancer, he will not qualify for any palliative or hospice care as they don't allow any type of medical treatments while under their care and only provide "comfort care" until he would die.
I hope and pray that your father does well with his treatments. God bless.

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