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kdrhuck Asked January 2022

Hungry all day and not eating dinner. Does anyone else deal with this and how do you handle it?

My mother in law forgets when she last ate. She eats breakfast pretty late (10:00am) and then usually has a snack mid day (crackers or potato chips). Between breakfast and dinner she is constantly asking when is dinner and says she is hungry. When dinner comes (around 6-6:30) she tends to eat less than half her food (if that) and says she is full. This happens whether she has a snack during the day or not. The problem with it is she is diabetic. I have asked her Dr to change her insulin to a sliding scale and she refuses saying she doesn't do sliding scales for her patients and proceeds to tell my MIL to eat her food. (Yeah well that's not going to happen). She says she needs the insulin. So we give her the insulin and then she goes low and we have to pump all kinds of stuff in her to get her sugar levels back up. Yesterday she dropped to 59. My husband and I disagree on how to handle this so since it is his mom I let him choose and that is why she had her insulin last night, she got mad and a left the table after eating a piece of bread and a bite of potatoes. 4 hours later her BS is 59. Sorry, that was a bit long of a story. My basic question is does anyone else deal with this and how do you handle it? I have my own opinion (I am a registered nurse) and my husband (no medical background) disagrees with me. If you deal with this sort of situation, what do you do? I will also tell you that I asked him the other day if he wanted her to have insulin and he said yes, she sees biscuits on the table so she will eat. She did not eat enough went low that day as well.


Thoughts?

Becky04473 Jan 2022
I’m a diabetic and my doctor actually recommends small frequent meals. I test my blood sugars 4 times daily. I take regular injections. Timing is everything. And I never eat a large evening meal and always eat between 4:00 and 5:30. Have a plain graham cracker about 8:00. When I eat treats it ends badly.

Isthisrealyreal Jan 2022
I don't know any 80+ year old that doesn't do better with smaller, more frequent meals. It's like feeding a six year old. Except I wouldn't be giving crackers and potato chips to a diabetic. I would be providing diabetic meals and snacks.

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lealonnie1 Jan 2022
Sounds like MIL needs managed care in a Skilled Nursing Facility where diabetic meals can be served to her, insulin can be administered on a schedule, and incontinence problems can be managed by staff other than you! I would not be putting up with such a situation (messy bathrooms from loose stools), trying to figure out and enforce diet changes and managing diabetes with a husband who wants things done 'his way'. Either leave him to manage his mother entirely, 100%, or get her placed in a SNF where others will manage her for you both.


Best of luck!

MargaretMcKen Jan 2022
First, lots of older people change to a bigger meal at lunchtime and a light ‘supper’ in the evenings. It means your digestion works while you are vertical, rather than lying down.

Second, if MIL and DH both want her to eat in a way which is dangerous, why not let them? You aren’t responsible if it kills MIL, who has AZ/dementia as well as diabetes. You aren’t responsible for keeping her alive, against her own will and her son’s choices.

PS Having just read Barb's edits, MIL is incontinent as well as dementia and diabetes. Perhaps she is looking for the exit door herself?

BarbBrooklyn Jan 2022
If she is hungry all day, why is she not able to eat then?

So, I looked at another of your questions, about the mess MIL is making in the bathroom with loose stools.

Several posters suggested a change in diet, to which you replied "I have no intention of changing her diet".

Is this person's healthcare being managed optimally in the home?

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